


Ocean Eyes

by HurricaneLovelace



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove Being Less of an Asshole, Eventual mild smut, F/M, Flirting, I have soundtrack, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sexual Tension, Some Fluff, billy gets refused a couple of times, tough girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-12 22:42:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21484027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HurricaneLovelace/pseuds/HurricaneLovelace
Summary: This wasn't the usual story where the bad boy fell for the good girl. Truth was,those type of stories were bullshit. Because most good girls were smart enough not to go for the bad guys,and bad guys found good girls too boring. Penelope Skye wasn't a good girl, and Billy Hargrove knew that. And that was why he liked her.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Original Female Character(s), Billy Hargrove/Reader, billy hargrove|Penelope Skye
Comments: 22
Kudos: 60





	1. Love at first sting

CHAPTER 1 – LOVE AT FIRST STING

Billy Hargrove was not in the mood to be fucked with today.

And it was because today was shit. It was getting closer and closer to the end of the year, which meant end of highschool for Billy, but he was not any closer to graduation. Far from it even, and every teacher made sure to remind him that. Just like his father made sure to remind him he was like he’d always thought he was, a good for nothing, pathetic failure. 

But for a funny reason, those were not the reasons for his pissy mood today. After all, the problem of his father had always been there, shadowing over him so much that unless he got another beating out of the man, then it was considered a good day. His problem though, right now, was Hawkins. Everything about it. From this stupid school that he was forced to go to, and then forced to become king of just because he loved attention that much, to his stupid sister Max.

And thinking of her made him even angrier. 

Not only was he stuck babysitting her again, because his dad and that slut he called wife had disappeared for another few days, but his father had made sure to remind him what would happen if he’d get her out of his sight like that last time. So now Billy had to wait for her to finish classes like always, and on top of that, to make sure she wouldn’t hang out with that Sinclair boy again. 

And she was late, too. He was going to break something today.

He was leaning against his blue Camaro now, after having already gone through three cigarettes while he was waiting for his sister, and he was slowly losing patience. He wanted to go home, get away from this cow shit smell and lock himself in his room with rock blasting from every speaker. And he decided right then, as his hand reached for the pack of cigarettes, that after he smoked another one and that shithead wasn’t going to show up, then he was going to let her skate home. If she wanted to go look for trouble on her own she could, he was not her fucking babysitter.

So, Billy took the cigarette out of his Marlboro pack and put it between his lips, and he would have been about to reach for his lighter if his hand hadn’t stopped mid movement. In fact, Billy was sure everything had stopped dead in its tracks now, because there was a silhouette moving towards him. And it was not his sister Max. 

~Soundtrack: Somo – Talking Body~

And what a silhouette that was.

The girl that was walking towards him had a cigarette between her lips, that was the first thing Billy noticed. And generally, it wouldn’t have caught his attention, had he known any girls at Hawkins High who smoked. Sure, he had bribed a few “good” girls here and there between rounds, and they’d accepted giggling because the thought of rebelling was so damn intriguing. But a girl who smoked on her own? Now that was the real intriguing thing.

The second thing he noticed was her body. He would have been blind not to, in all fairness, because she was just as smoking hot as every one of the Hawkins’ fresh meats, if not maybe hotter. His eyes travelled up and down her body shamelessly as he really took it in, from the tight black jeans she wore that hugged her body in just the right places, to the leather jacket that covered her slim waist and her tucked grey shirt, and then finally resting on her face. 

And his eyes got stuck again on the cigarette. To the way her pink lips curved around it. To the smoke floating around her as she blew it casually. Oh, she was something, Billy decided. And he knew how he got when he saw something he liked. He would go ahead and get it.

After all, he thought, why not? Max was nowhere to be seen, and seeing as the girl was from the same high school as he was, she definitely knew about him. King of Hawkins. Who wouldn’t? This was going to be easy, he told himself as the girls approached at a leisure pace, and was heading luckily enough for Billy in his direction.  
So, dropping the lighter back in his pocket, Billy straightened his back, smiled with the cigarette still between his teeth, and spoke just as the girl passed him with no glance.

“Excuse me,” he spoke in a voice he’d practiced in every mirror he would get his hands on, a voice that he knew worked every damn time without failure. “I’m really sorry, but do you mind if I borrow your lighter for a second?”

The girl stopped finally, with her back still to him, and slowly turned to face him. 

For a second, she didn’t say anything. She took him in, as if she hadn’t seen him when she’d walked right by him, and took her time with it, too, while also taking another drag out of her cigarette. Except, to Billy’s surprise, the girl had the best poker face he had seen in a while. He was used to girls’ expressions as they would scan him from either up close or check him out from far away for the first time. He knew the small shape of “o” their mouths formed, the subtle interest shining in their eyes as they widened just enough for him to notice. But with her? He could read nothing.

So instead, Billy took the opportunity and studied her from up close, too. He started just as before, from bottom to top, and if he thought her curves were noticeable from far away, from here he had to stop himself from giving a sharp, appreciative whistle. He licked his lips slowly and continued his journey, finally stopping on her face again and noticed how her eyes were of the bluest color he had ever seen. Bluer than his. A different shade, too, because if what many girls had told him was true, then his eyes were ocean blue. Hers looked more like sky blue, and they would have almost looked innocent, like wide doe eyes, had they not been covered around with dark make up. With that, it almost gave them a dangerous look. Especially with how they were looking at him now, studying him but showing no emotion.

Billy smiled again as the girl reached in the pocket of her jacket and handed her lighter to him. He took it, letting his grin grow wider, and lit up the cigarette all the while maintaining eye contact. 

“Now,” he started again, blowing the first drag to his right, and took his shot. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but have we meet before? Because I definitely feel like I’ve seen you somewhere.”

And funnily enough, that was not even a lie. There was something familiar about her face, something he couldn’t quite place. But then the thought occurred to him that if he had seen her before and not hit on her, he must have been drunk. Even then, it wouldn’t have been a good enough excuse.

“Really?” she spoke the first words to him finally, and her husky voice had Billy biting his lip involuntarily. Oh, he had a pretty good idea of what sounds that pretty little mouth of hers could make.

He waited a second before he took another drag. “Do you go to high school here?”

“Occasionally.”

He gave a short laugh. 

“Occasionally,” Billy repeated slowly, and considered his next move carefully before he took a step closer to her, and then another. And if she was surprised at the sudden, unasked for closeness, she didn’t show it. She was a tough cookie, Billy had to give her that. “I knew I didn’t see you around that often because I know that if I did,” he took the cigarette out of his mouth and pointed it at her with a casual smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “I would’ve remembered you.”

And with that last line, he blew the smoke and waited for a reaction. He got her, he told himself. He got her good. And finally, after a long pause filled with silence, the girl broke her poker face and let a smile slowly form on her lips.

There it is.

And if Billy’s years of flirting experience were any indication, he knew that smile. He’d seen it so many times before on girls, it was the smile that meant they were growing curious. Curious enough to explore him. And here he had been, thinking this would be a challenge.

“I’m Billy Hargrove,” he spoke again, letting his smile drop this time and his back straighten. 

The girl answered with no hesitation. “I know who you are.”

Billy laughed again. “Well that doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

She paused again and let her previous, short-lived smile fade and her face take another neutral expression, not before she dropped her finished cigarette on the ground. “So, Billy,” she spoke in a more quiet tone, but without letting her voice lose any of that huskiness. “Do you think I could have my lighter back?”

Maybe the challenge wasn’t over, he thought as he reached again in his pocket and took out his pack instead. And, looking for that special cigarette in the pack that he always carried around, because it had his phone number written on it, he took another step forward. Now, they were practically inches away from each other, and he could breathe in her scent, just as she could probably smell his cologne. He knew it was the right move to put some on this morning. After all, just like it was in the case with the phone number cigarette, you never knew.

But she didn’t smell like perfume, Billy noticed. She smelled like cigarettes, leather, and a whiff of what was probably her shampoo, something mixed with mint and citruses. 

Leisurely, he reached over and put the cigarette with his number behind her ear, and let it get caught in her wavy, dark brown hair. He even let his gaze drop to her lips in the less subtle way possible, then back to her eyes.

The cigarette thing wasn’t a move he pulled often, he could say he had done it once or twice since he’d thought about it. But so far, he could vouch for its resourcefulness. And even if this girl liked to play cool and mysterious, Billy could tell she was intrigued. She had to be, he told himself.

“How about,” his voice was now a whisper too, tickling her cheek. “You let me give you a ride home, and then you can have your lighter back. Sounds like a fair deal?”

She looked into his eyes for what must have been a couple of long seconds, and even though he was trying to tell himself she was just playing hard to get, he was starting to wonder how much composure this girl had. He could not read her for the life of him.

And then, just when he was sure she was on the verge of agreeing, she did the most unexpected thing. She started laughing.

It wasn’t a whole laugh. Just short and a little unkept, and if Billy hadn’t been so confused, he would’ve thought it sounded nice. But he was too busy frowning at her reaction. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked, and in response, she just shook her head and took the cigarette from between her long locks. 

“How about I tell you what, Billy,” she said, her voice sounding still amused. “I take back my lighter, and as a little parting gift, I don’t embarrass you in front of your sister with a rejection.”

She looked over his shoulder at the last part, and with a frown still between his eyes, Billy turned around and saw Max heading over on her skateboard. 

Billy had never thought he could hate that little shit more than he already did.

And before he could protest, the girl took her lighter back from his hands, and gave him the second biggest surprise for today. She put the cigarette with his number on it between her lips and lit it without a second thought.

As embarrassing as it was, his jaw involuntarily dropped.

“I’ll see you around,” she said her last words to him before she blew the smoke, smirked and turned on her heels, leaving Billy gaping. 

For seconds, he just stood like that, still processing what had just happened. Had she just rejected him? After she’d sat there, playing along to his little game and not backing away, had she really just played him?

“Who the hell was that?” Max’s voice came from behind him, and he took a few seconds to still process before he turned around.

But when he did, all Billy could do was glare at his sister.

***

~Soundtrack: Scorpions – Rock You Like A Hurricane~

After the initial shock had faded, all there was left for Billy to do was get angry.

Today was just not his day. And it wasn’t because he’d been rejected. If anything, he understood rejection. He’d been rejected before by girls who played the goody two shoes and who thought that if they’d as much as hang out with someone like him, they’d catch some kind of plague or STD. He knew the girls that went for him, the girls who wanted to rebel, who wanted to stick it to their parents and prove they weren’t like any other girls, even though each and every one of them was the same. He was their weapon of rebellion. Not like he’d ever minded. 

And he’d thought this girl was just the same. Not a good girl gone bad, no. Maybe just a girl who’d wanted to play bad to begin with, without his nudge. Yet…

It was unnerving him, and he told himself it was only because he was having a bad day to begin with. He’d just needed a win, and it had blown in his face unexpectedly. That was all it was. A challenge unconquered. He was going to get over it as soon as he’d be deep in someone else tonight.

Still, he couldn’t stop the usual fight with Max from happening. He had given her an earful, even gave her another scare when he sped down the highway that led to their house dangerously. He had to admit, the turned all the way up “Scorpions” song and the smell of gasoline, along with Max’s scared expression put him in a better mood. 

So, by the time they got to their house, Billy was already feeling lighter. He got out of the car after his sister stormed out angrily, not before flipping him off, and laughed at her reaction. He was rubbing off on that little shit, he could tell. He took out his pair of sunglasses and looked around, stretching his stiff back.  
It was all just the same. Smell of cow shit, quiet neighborhood, nothing remotely interesting going on. He missed California. It was impossible not to when being stuck in this hellhole of a town.

Yet when he was about to head inside as well, his eye caught something again. And the déjà vu feeling hit hard, along with another wave of shock.

Because, on the front porch of the house next to theirs on the left, stood none other than the girl he’d met just minutes before, smoking another cigarette. 

To say his jaw was on the floor was not even remotely covering it. 

He took a few seconds to process it. How had she gotten there so fast? No, what was she doing there to begin with? Was she…

Oh.

Of course she had seemed familiar. He must have seen her before at least once. She was his fucking neighbor. How on hell had he missed that?

And he was just about to go over there and give her a piece of his mind for having messed with him before, when she’d clearly known they were neighbors, but she beat him to it. Because as soon as she saw him, a knowing smile spread on her lips and she put out her cigarette, ready to go inside. But before she did that, she put her middle and index finger together in the finger gun style, pointed it at him and pretended to shoot in a mocking gesture.

And Billy should have felt angry again, he thought as the sound of the closed door behind her rang in the quiet neighborhood. The girl was playing him for a fool, and that was a thing Billy Hargrove rarely tolerated. But he wasn’t feeling angry. No, that previous anger had slowly faded.  
Instead, he let a smile of his own tug at his lips. This was far from being over.

Game on, he thought, before going back inside as well.


	2. Chapter 2 - Getaway Car

CHAPTER 2 – GETAWAY CAR

~Soundtrack: Yungblud – Parents~

Penelope Skye slammed the front door of the house behind her with force, and let out a frustrated grunt. She took the first thing she could grab her, which happened to be a small, decorative flower pot, and threw it against one of the front porch walls, sending the shattered pieces everywhere. She was aware she was making a scene that might wake up the other neighbors, but she didn’t care by this point. Tonight was just one of those nights.

It had all started like just a regular family dinner, too. She and her parents were sitting at the table, after they had forcefully dragged her out of her room to have “one decent meal together”, and of course they couldn’t help themselves and start the sharp, bitter, passive-aggressive comments. And Penelope knew this would happen the moment she’d sat down at the table, but she had the audacity to hope tonight would be different; that maybe they could pretend they didn’t hate their daughter for one night. It was safe to say now she’d been asking for too much. 

The first comment was about school. And Penelope could handle that, she was so used to it by now, and after all, she had her good grades to throw in their faces. She might not have gone to school that often, skipping a few classes here and there, but when she did, she made sure she wasn’t going to fail any exams. After all, she wanted a great GPA, she would need one to go to college to NYU like she’d always wanted to. That was the plan. Graduate with the best GPA she could pull off, and get the hell away from her parents and this shithole of a town. In fact, NYU wasn’t even set in stone, she would’ve been happy going wherever as long as it meant getting away from here. 

But then they had hit her with it. After they’d mentioned for the hundredth time that they knew all about her skipping and that they were sick of it, they told her they were putting their foot down. They would not financially help her in any way to go to college, because according to them, if she couldn’t even bother to take high school seriously, why would they waste their savings and have her fail college just like she did everything else.

Penelope tries to be civil at first. She tried reasoning with her dad, because she knew she could crack him faster than her mom. She tried to say her grades were good, so who cared if she wasn’t so perfect. But she should have known it was a lost cause to begin with. They were having none of it. It didn’t matter that it was her dream. It didn’t matter that it was the only fucking thing she cared about by this point. It only mattered that they finally had the excuse to tie her down here, and spit in her face everyday how much they wished they’d never had her.

So then, Penelope did the other thing she knew best. She got angry. 

She told them she didn’t need them. She told them she would find a way to get out of there, because she was damned if she was going to spend more time than she had to in that disgusting house. 

Naturally, hell had followed after that.

Now here she was. Standing alone on the front porch after she’d stormed out, at one in the morning, with nowhere to go. She couldn’t go back inside. She wouldn’t want to anyway. In fact, she had half a mind to get the backpack she’d grabbed in a hurry, leave and never come back.

But the other half knew she couldn’t. The other half was tired and wanted to sleep, wanted to forget that she felt like she was stuck in quicksand.

So, with shaking hands that she ran through her messy hair, Penelope climbed down the stairs of her front porch and looked around at the quiet neighborhood. 

Everyone was sleeping. The few handful of people she called friends were most definitely sleeping too, and she didn’t want to disturb any of them, since they would ask questions and she’d never told anyone about her home situation. After all, why would she bother? Everyone had daddy or mommy issues of their own.

With that last thought, Penelope’s eyes drifted to her right. To the Hargrove house. 

She had seen them move a few months back, the red haired girl and her slut-looking brother, along with the tough attitude dad and the fragile-like mom. She’d seen them at school, too, but that mostly applied to Billy. And it wasn’t even ‘cause she’d noticed him, it was all because how much everyone liked to talk about him, like he was some kind of James Dean. Penelope knew better, he wasn’t shit. She’d seen the way he provoked one of her friends, Steve Harrington, the way he stunk of testosterone and fragile masculinity and the way he thought that doing keg stands and sleeping with the trashiest women of Hawkins High made him an alpha male. And she would have been the blindest woman alive to say he didn’t look like some Greek God. But as far as she was concerned, Billy Hargrove’s looks were the only good thing about him.

That was why the incident from a few days ago when he’d hit on her hadn’t surprised her at all. She’d dealt with his type before, knew how to shut it down. She was left unbothered and only amused by his expression as she’d left, and since then, she’d barely given it any thought.

But now, she stared at their house and pondered. She hadn’t been deaf, she’d heard the sounds of screams and slams from time to time coming from their house, and if one were to psychoanalyze Billy Hargrove, the logical deduction was that he was a product of abandonment issues and even more messed up daddy issues. So he must have known a thing or two about shitty parenting. 

Why was she thinking all of this, Penelope wondered? The fucked up mess that was the Hargrove family wasn’t her main concern right now, her only problem was that she was alone in the middle of the night, with no place to sleep. She thought about getting herself arrested for a second. At least that way she would sleep in a cell. But then it occurred to her that no one would come to bail her out. No one would have really cared or had the money to.

She kept gnawing at her bottom lip, thinking over her options. A bench? Too dangerous. A friend’s house? Too vulnerable for her.

And as she ran through every single last one of her possibilities, her eyes landed on the beautiful blue Camaro parked in front of the Hargrove house. And Penelope almost laughed at how dumb she’d been not to think of this first, given the fact that she knew how to pick the locks of a car. She’d hijacked an ex boyfriend’s car at some point after all.

So, with a smirk that meant trouble, she walked at a fast pace towards the car and thanked god she still carried around hair pins she never used. She kicked it once with her foot to make sure no alarm was going to go off, then used the pin she had in her pocket to work the lock. And either some devil down there was helping her or luck was just with her tonight, but the door opened in what couldn’t have been more than three minutes, and Penelope climbed inside the backseat. 

She wasn’t dumb. She knew she could go to jail for this if that douchebag found out. And oh, what a fit he would throw, too. But he wasn’t going to, Penelope decided. She would set an alarm for 6 in the morning, get her backpack and then walk to school, or wherever else she could think of, then come up with something from there. And then maybe, after a few days, she would come back home. 

When Penelope climbed inside, she gave a short, appreciate huff at how clean it looked. She had to admit, she expected much worse. The leather seats smelt nice, and if she sniffed closely she could smell his cologne, but she decided against being that kind of girl. There were no thrown out panties around, or used condoms, not even an empty pack of cigarettes. She was impressed. For a guy, he kept his car neater than it would’ve been expected.

She lied down, and wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this was. She was sleeping inside Billy Hargrove’s car, days after he’d hit on her and she’d rejected him. Whatever lady fate was up there must have really hated her. Or maybe she just had to admit to herself that she was that desperate.

So, with those thoughts in mind, Penelope Skye fell asleep.

***

~Soundtrack: Joan Jett & the Blackhearts – I hate myself for loving you~

Billy woke up the next day in a pretty good mood. His dad had called last night, telling them it would be another few days before him and Susan would be back home, and then Billy had received a second happy phone call, from chief Hopper to tell him Max would spend the night over at El. He just had the entire house to himself, which meant only one thing for Billy.

As soon as he’d gone to a party and found someone new and dumb enough to cling to his arm for the entire time, he’d taken her home and spent the rest of the night making sure the neighbors heard the screams. And even after she’d left, or most likely after he’d kicked her out, the good mood had still stayed with Billy. Sure, the weekend was over which meant he would have to go back to that shit school. But the week was starting off pretty good.

So, he got dressed, went through his usual getting ready routine that took about an hour, had his usual cigarette for breakfast and headed out the door. Not even the smell of shit could put him in a bad mood this morning. So, whistling to himself, Billy got out of the house, wiggling his car keys in one hand, and stopped on the front porch. He looked to his left, like he did every morning since the last couple of days, and sighed.

There was no sign of her this morning either. 

After that moment from school with the cigarette, and the mocking she’d given him by just smirking at him from across, they hadn’t talked. He’d seen her once, maybe twice, once at the cafeteria talking to that douchebag Steve, and the second time from his window as she’d sneaked inside her house at midnight. He’d even asked at school about her, found out her name. Penelope Skye. He hated how much it suited her.

Billy would lie to say he hadn’t hoped for another encounter. He’d had this whole idea in his head that there was a game going on that he’d started and she’d continued, and now he just couldn’t wait for another round, and he was sure she was just playing hard to get. He had a feeling. And like he’d promised himself, this was far from over. He didn’t like to go to extreme lengths for the things that he wanted, since he would normally get them anyway, but there was a certain thrill to this, too. 

Still, it looked like today wasn’t the day to run into her either. So, Billy shook his head to himself and headed over to the car, ready to take his good mood all the way to Hawkins High. He unlocked the car and got seated in the driver’s seat, doing the first thing he always did in the morning: turning on the car radio, and letting the loud sound of rock’n’roll fill the air. 

The second thing he did like every other morning was turn the side-view mirror to himself and smile. He looked good, he admitted, so he gave his reflection a wink.

“How you doin’, gorgeous?” he told his mirror image, flashing his pearly whites, and before he could say anything else, the answer came from the back.

“I’m doing good, baby, how you doing?”

Billy’s eyes widened as he startled and turned around abruptly, only to be greeted by none other than Penelope’s Skye smirking face. 

Jesus fucking Christ.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he yelled, and earned a shrug from her, which drove Billy even more furious. “What the…did you break in my car? What the hell do you think you’re doing, I thought I was being fucking robbed. I swear to God –“

She groaned, throwing her head back, acting like she hadn’t just fucking startled Billy to death. “Geez, relax already, it’s not like I stole your car, I just borrowed it for a night.”

“Borrowed,” Billy repeated to himself, feeling like a vein was about to pop out of his forehead. How crazy was this woman exactly? “What the fuck are you talking about?”

And then it hit him as he took her in. Her normally wavy hair was now ruffled and going in all directions, and her eyes puffy with no more dark, heavy eyeliner around them. And she sounded like…

“Did you…” Billy started slowly, realizing that she’d just woken up. “Did you sleep in my car?”

She hesitated for a second before answering. “…Maybe,”

What in all the damned hells was wrong with this woman? How had he not realized how crazy she was in fact? Who the hell slept in other people’s cars? And not just anyone’s, but his car, the only thing Billy owned that he would’ve killed people for. No one touched his car. 

“Look,” Penelope hurried to speak, all traces of amusement gone from her face now as she leaned in towards him and rested her elbow on the passenger’s seat. “I know how this looks, okay? It’s bad. And I swear, I had no intention of you finding me here. The plan was that I was gonna wake up earlier, get out and go to school before you would even realize I was here, and then act like it never happened.”

“What –“ he tried to say, feeling himself getting even angrier, but she stopped him.

“I’m sorry. I really, really am. I promise I didn’t mean any harm, and I didn’t do anything to your precious fucking car, so can we please just act like this never happened?”

And Billy was just about to say that he was far from accepting that apology, not like that. But then it dawned on him, as Penelope reached for the car handle ready to get out. This looked familiar in some sort of way.

“Why?” he asked quietly, but Penelope still heard him and stopped. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Why did you sleep in my car?”

His anger seemed to fade now, replaced by some sick sort of curiosity, and a gut feeling he couldn’t shake. He had definitely seen this happen before, to himself. 

She looked taken aback for a second by his question, and took a moment before answering. “I already said I’m sorry. What else do you want me to do?”

“I asked why.”

“Fuck off,” she said, ready to go out again, but Billy stopped her again.

Of course he had seen this before. During nights when his dad would get so bad he just knew he would come home to a beating, or after he’d do something that would most definitely earn him at least a shoving, Billy wouldn’t go home. Not in California, not here in Hawkins either. Instead, as soon as he’d gotten his hands on this car, he would sleep inside and go back the next day, when he would feel more ready to deal with the situation. 

This looked and felt exactly the same, except reversed.

“Was it because of your parents?”

And that question made Penelope stop dead in her tracks.

For a second, she just stood frozen with her back half turned to him and the door to the car slightly open, and for some reason it made Billy wonder if he should’ve kept his mouth shut. And the answer to that came right away, because Penelope closed the door again and turned to him, with a murderous look in her eyes.

“That is none of your goddamn fucking business. And if you ask me shit like that again, and I won’t feel guilty enough to stop myself from punching you in the balls.”

And if there was a second thing Billy recognized was that kind of reaction. It was the same reaction he would’ve had if someone would’ve asked about his dad. And maybe Billy didn’t know what had went down, or had any interest in knowing, but he still scanned her body for any bruises, and found that she had none. None that were visible anyway. Not like he cared if she did anyway.

And because the air was growing heavier with things Billy didn’t want to think about and Penelope was making another attempt at leaving, he decided it was time to flip the switch and change into his more comfortable skin, one that didn’t talk about daddy issues and breaking into cars.

“Okay, you’re right, fair enough,” he held up his hands and smiled in the mirror at her. “But you do owe me one.”

“I don’t –“she begun to say defensively, but he held up a finger.

“You broke into my car, sweetheart, the least you could do is show me you really mean that apology,” the eye roll she gave almost had Billy crack a laugh. “So let me give you a ride to school.”

He heard the scoff she gave, but he knew he caught her there. She did feel guilty, he could tell, and as much as she didn’t want to give in and let him win this round, just like she’d won the last one, she wanted to get rid of the debt, and he was offering something as simple as a car ride. Better that than something worse, she probably would figure. 

So, Billy tried not to let his smirk show as she dropped back in the seat and crossed her hands against her chest as she said, “Fine, but I’m staying here and I’m not talking.”

He laughed softly. “Of course you’re not”

***

~Soundtrack: The Score - Heat~

Penelope kept good on her promise and stayed silent the entire ride. And because Billy was just as stubborn and because the car ride was short and he was still trying to wrap his head around what had just happened, he didn’t say a word either.

Still, in spite of her sulkiness and the silence and the previous nerve he’d seemed to strike, when he parked in front of the school at his usual spot and they both got out, Billy didn’t expect her to just start walking away without another word.

So, before he could stop himself or think twice about what he was doing, he caught her wrist as she tried to go past him and stopped her. 

And in hindsight, Billy should have realized that was a bad move to make. But right now, all he knew was that after days when he hadn’t seen this girl, he’d found her sleeping in his car, and for some reason, he didn’t want to leave it at that. This was his second chance. And he hadn’t even gotten the chance to play any of his moves yet. 

So, seeing as Penelope didn’t yet make a move to try to free herself, Billy let his hand linger on her wrist as he threw her a smile. “You know, sweetheart, I can’t help but say I’m getting some mixed feelings here. First you turn me down, and then I find you sleeping in my car,” his grin grew wider and his voice a little quieter as the only response Penelope gave was an arched eyebrow. “Next time you need a place to crash, you can just call me.”

The feeling of déjà vu hit Billy again as Penelope studied him for a few seconds, in a way that had him replay his words inside his head. And when he thought he couldn’t read her just like the last time, she leaned in a few inches closer and looked at him between lowered eyelashes in a way that almost made Billy gulp. God, she was intoxicating. 

When she spoke, her husky voice came out more playful than Billy would’ve expected. “Too bad I don’t have your number.”

And out of context, that would’ve seemed like a perfectly normal flirty line. But Billy knew exactly what she meant by those words. 

He bit his lower lip against a bitter smile. “Well, whose fault is that?”

For the second time in only a matter of minutes, Penelope surprised him again by leaning in even more, making him catch another hint of her scent. He could have practically leaned in and kissed her if he would’ve wanted to. And damn it if he didn’t want to. And as if to drive him even wilder, she let her other hand rest on top of the palm that was still holding her wrist.

“You know what they say, big guy, maybe you should do yourself a favor and take mixed signals as a no.”

And in one slow motion, she lifted his hand and made him let go of her wrist, before taking a step back and getting ready to turn once more on her heels and leave.  
Jesus Christ. 

Billy bit the inside of his cheek along with the swear he’d wanted to let out at the abrupt turn of events. How on hell had she managed to play him just like before, making him think she was finally going to give in before slapping him in the face with a refusal? He couldn’t tell if that only frustrated him or made him even more interested.

So, because he wasn’t ready for this to be over just like that, he still called after her, like a fucking fool. 

“How about a smoke then?” 

And shockingly enough, she stopped once again and turned around. 

Billy had really meant what he’d said earlier about mixed signals. She’d turned him down not once, but twice counting this one, yet here she was. Sleeping in his car, and making him think she was flirting back, and stopping for a smoke with him. He had always known that women were mysterious, hard to read creatures, but he could safely say he’d never met one quite this nerve-wrecking.

He smiled victoriously as he took a cigarette out of his pocket and put it between his lips, lightning it, and waited for her to do the same. But she didn’t.  
Instead, she took another step towards him and crossed her arms against her chest. “You really don’t like giving up, do you?”

Billy simply shrugged. “What can I say, I’m a determined guy. I see something I like,” he paused, looking her up and down slowly, stopping his journey to stare a few seconds at her lips. “And I get it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and let out an incredulous huff, as if to say she couldn’t believe he was still that arrogant. Truth was, Billy didn’t know how he could still pull off that kind of confidence after his ego had taken such a beating in the span of a week from the same girl.

She looked at his lips, or at the cigarette between them most likely, before she reached and snatched it from his mouth with her fingers. “You’re a waste of good looks, did you know that, Hargrove?”

And with what Billy knew now that it was her signature smirk, Penelope took a drag out of the stolen cigarette before turning on her heels for good this time and leaving him behind.

Even so, he could not bring himself to be frustrated or confused once again. He just felt…intrigued. Like the same kind of feeling one got at the end of a rollercoaster. Terrified, but with the adrenaline in his veins pumping and yelling for more. 

Penelope Skye was one hell of a rollercoaster. 

And even though he admitted that to himself, he couldn’t help but call after her for the last time as her figure faded into the distance. 

“At least you admitted I look good!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I just wanted to leave a little note and say how thrilled I am that you're liking this story!! It really means the world to me, and I love reading your comments! I hope you'll decide to stick with me  
Also, if anyone is interested about how I chose to picture Penelope, the actress I have in mind is Kaya Scodelario, most known for her role in Skins. I think she's a perfect fit tbh  
And that's pretty much it. I'll see you for the next update, which knowing me, is probably gonna be soon :)). Thank you again for reading!!!


	3. Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince

CHAPTER 3 – MISS AMERICANA AND THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE

~Soundtrack: Taylor Swift – Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince~

Two weeks passed.

Two more weeks of school went by, and the more summer closed in, the more everyone at Hawkins High grew more and more restless. Posters and posters showed up overnight all over the high school walls about the incoming prom, and hundreds of flyers got spread around to seniors about college options. It smelled like new beginnings and happiness. And Billy Hargrove hated it with the power of a thousand suns.

Besides, this entire prom thing was the biggest bullshit Billy had ever seen, with girls going out of their way to hint at him to ask them to it, even his “friends”, or what was better put as the group of people he’d chosen to tolerate during high school so he could have better access to parties and women, were asking him if he was going to the stupid prom. Like he had nothing better to fucking do.

So clearly, the past two weeks had been bullshit.

And as if to add to the crappiness, Billy hadn’t seen Penelope in two weeks. Not at school, not in the neighborhood, not in the backseat of his car either. It was as if she had just vanished. Which annoyed Billy more than it should have probably, but he didn’t want to think about that. Though, after all, where could she have disappeared for so long? He wondered how much she wanted to avoid him if for two weeks he hadn’t even caught a glimpse of her in spite the fact that they went to the same school and lived in the same neighborhood. 

For two weeks, whether it was involuntarily or on purpose, Billy kept scanning the school hallways for her, or the front porch of her house, and that annoyed him more than anything else. Why did he give a crap’s ass if she’d disappeared? The earth could gave swallowed her whole for all he cared. Plenty of bitches in the sea, like he’d told Harrington. And plenty of bitches that wanted him when Penelope Skye clearly didn’t.

So Billy let whatever girl wanted to cling to his arm and bat their eyelashes as him do so, as long as the night ended with the two of them in the backseat of his car. 

But today was just not sitting well with him. He walked around the hallway, itching to go out for a cigarette but unable to, because in 10 minutes he was supposed to be in calculus class. Fucking calculus. And to add on top of that, he had to go to this stupid class with stupid Tommy H and his group of stupid friends. 

It wasn’t that he hated the dude. It wasn’t that he liked him either. He used him most of the time, either to go to the parties he wanted and initially, to outdo Steve Harrington in terms of popularity. It gained him to keep that asshole around, but in days like today, when all he could do is complain about some issue he had with Carol that Billy didn’t give two shits about, all he wanted to do was just smash Tommy’s face in.

Still, he let Tommy walk with him to class, and when Billy stopped in front of his locker, he completely tuned out whatever problem with his bitch he was complaining about. 

He closed his locker, sighed, thinking about how shitty the rest of his day was going to be, and when he turned around, that’s when he saw it.

That’s when he saw her.

Penelope Skye came right through the front doors of Hawkins High, wind still catching in her wild brown locks, and as soon as Billy saw her walking down the hallway, he completely lost track of whatever he was thinking about. Because Jesus Christ, did she look amazing.

She wore a black, casual dress that went just a little past her knees, a blue denim jacket over it, and dark, see through stockings, and it was maybe the simplest outfit, but it drove Billy crazy seeing her. Just the way he could still see that pretty little body underneath that jacket, and the way the stockings made her legs look…

He could not tear his eyes away, in spite of the fact that he was aware of how intensely he was staring. 

Even her hair, Billy noticed, which was unusual because that would be one of the last fucking things he would notice about a girl, it was caught in an almost messy, one sided braid, with some wild strands hanging loose on the side of her face. 

She was putting whatever the other girls of Hawkins had to offer to shame. 

And he was so caught up in seeing her looking so damn head-spinning gorgeous after two weeks of radio silence, that for a second, he even forgot he was supposed to be mad, supposed to ignore her. But holy shit, he could not stop staring.

Even as she kept walking towards him. And then, even as she passed by him, without a glance in his direction.

And as much of a pretty view she was from behind as well, Billy could feel that anger returning. This girl was just unbelievable. She had not even looked at him. Two weeks where he hadn’t seen her at all, two weeks since he’d found her sleeping in the backseat of his car, and two weeks since she’d wrecked his mind with that short lived flirting, only to refuse him again and walk away afterwards. Now he was not even worth a glance?

“Look at that,” Billy startled all of a sudden when he heard Tommy’s voice from behind him and felt his hand clap him on the back. “The bad girl and the heartbreaker of Hawkins High. You got your eyes on the prize there, Hargrove?”

Billy tore his eyes from Penelope with a sigh and turned around to face Tommy, who was still looking at her as she went. 

“Pretty nice piece of ass, huh?”

And for another reason Billy couldn’t explain, he wanted to punch Tommy right there and then. 

“She’s alright,” he muttered under his breath instead, going back to his locker and grabbing his new pack of cigarettes from there for later. Oh, he’d definitely need one.

“Alright? C’mon, man, the way you were looking at her, I could just tell you’d hit that,” he nudged him, as if expecting some sort of equally degrading comeback back. And normally, Billy would’ve said something just along those lines, too. Normally.

“I mean, we’ve all been there,” Tommy said eventually, when he saw that he wasn’t getting much of Billy. “Good, ol’ Penny, the hot rebel we all tried to take a swing at some point. Can’t blame you, everyone wanted a piece of that pussy.”

He clenched his jaw and made a fist, almost ready to take a swing himself at Tommy’s face. He’d just picked the wrong day for this bullshit, and Billy was confused enough as it was wondering why all of this was getting him so angry. But he imagined any one of Tommy’s douches friends or worse, Tommy himself, trying to hit on Penelope, and found his blood boiling. 

“I don’t care, Tommy.” His tone was just cold-blooded.

“Piece of advice though, Hargrove,” Tommy ignored him and kept talking, sneering like a fucking pervert now. “Do yourself a favor and stay away from her. She’s bad news.”

Now that was catching his attention.

He scoffed, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, right.”

“No, I mean it. She’s as crazy as she’s hot. Hitting on her is like a kick in the balls for your ego. Carter Holland tried hitting on her once and he told us all about how she flirted back, even took his number on a piece of paper and then tore it in front of him and walked away. And Holland is a fucking quarterback.”

Billy tried to suppress a laugh. Yeah, he could see Penelope doing something like that.

“That doesn’t really make her crazy, Tommy.”

“Man, I’m telling you. If everyone didn’t know she dated Matt from Biology last year, I’d say she’s gay. But even after the breakup Matty said she’s one crazy bitch. He said she keyed his car when they broke up.” 

“Well clearly, she hasn’t had good dick yet.” Billy tried to casually smirk and play cool, in spite of the fact that he knew how wrong that was. 

To that, Tommy gave a whole hearted laugh and patted him on the back again. “Still, I’d stay away if I were you, Hargrove.”

And to his surprise, Billy had to agree. He wanted to stay away now, and it wasn’t because any of the bullshit Tommy had said, whether it was true or not. But there were as many refusals as a guy like him could handle. He was better off without her mind games and stupid mixed signals. No good looking chick was worth all that effort.

So, Billy decided as the bell rang and he headed over to his class, as far as he was concerned, Penelope Skye could go fuck herself from now on.

***

~Soundtrack: Evolsi - PRBLMS LYRICS (Female Version remix, 6LACK)~

Penelope threw her head back a little, closing her eyes as she exhaled the cloud of smoke and as the slight feeling of dizziness engulfed her and the sensation of burning filled her lungs. She took another deep drag almost as soon as she puffed out her first one, and thought that were few sounds that she enjoyed more than the sound of a burning cigarette. There was just something about it that calmed her down, holding the cigarette between her fingers casually, hearing it burn as she took a long drag that went all the way down her throat and into her lungs, and then letting it all out and watching the smoke dance around her. She figured she was not much of a nicotine addict as she was of the gesture in itself. But today, she just felt like wanted to burn her lungs out. 

She’d finished classes after a long, useless day that she’d barely managed to sit through without skipping, and ended up to the conclusion that she shouldn’t have come. Because as soon as she’d walked into Biology class, she saw him. Matt Wiezman.

God, she could not wait to get out of this high school and go somewhere else where she wouldn’t run into an ex constantly. 

And she tried to act normal and ignore the intense looks he gave her the entire class, tried to focus and pretend she wasn’t noticing, and especially, tried to rush out of that class before he could talk to her. Because she knew he would try and talk to her. It was getting old by this point.

But Penelope should have known she had no such luck. As soon as she tried to slip out of that classroom, Matt ran after her and even went as far as to try to turn her around when she pretended she hadn’t heard him.

Just seeing him reminded Penelope of why she was just not a relationship person. Sure, maybe the case with Matt had been an exclusive one, because he’d ended up being an asshole, but maybe it was time to admit she’d always hated commitment and what it implied. And high school boys had never been even remotely close to decent material, so why was she expected to even bother? They were immature, with a one track mind and who acted like everything was entitled to them, including her attention.

Case in point. Matt Wiezman.

She’d thrown him a look and he’d dropped his arm instantly, knowing damn well what happened if he pissed her off, but still hadn’t stopped himself from telling her that he wanted to talk. It had been going on like this for months, with him bugging her and asking for a second chance, and with her running out of ways to tell him “no” that didn’t involve violence. But lately, she was considering even that.

Even now, it didn’t matter that she’d basically told him to fuck off. He’d still insisted that he would come looking for her after school, and that she should wait for him in the parking lot so they could talk. And Penelope would’ve told him where he could stick that conversation he wanted to have, had he not left abruptly without giving her a chance to reply.

She wondered for the hundredth time, why did guys have to be like that? He had told the entire school that she was the crazy one after the break up, spreading false rumors, but now here he was begging to be taken back, getting all in her space and on her nerves. She was ready to start throwing threats to prove him just how crazy she truly was.

But then, an idea had struck her, too. A stupid idea in all fairness, but lately she seemed to have only those kind. Matt, just like any entitled, misogynist kid his age, was never going to understand what a ‘no’ meant. But unfortunately for him and luckily for her, Penelope knew exactly just how to send a message. For the last time now.

So, after all of her classed ended, she made her way towards the parking lot and let her steps lead her to a certain blue Camaro she’d spotted. Crazy idea as it was, she knew it would work. 

Now, she was leaning casually against it, with a half burned out cigarette between her lips and a bored mood, waiting for Billy Hargrove to come find her.

Truth was, Penelope didn’t know why Billy was her first thought when thinking of a solution. Who knew, maybe going to him for help would make things even worse given that she knew all about his reputation of a ticking bomb. But it was just a reason she couldn’t find for why she’d thought about him, especially after she’d decided to completely ignore him at school.

She had seen him this morning, seen the way he had looked at her as she’d walked in, and it had unnerved something in her. She didn’t know if it was her head giving her some warning sign or just a bad stomach, but she’d decided in better judgment to ignore it, to ignore him. After all, that was what everyone who was friends with her had warned her. He was bad news, they said, and she wanted to ask, what high school boy wasn’t? The only exception she knew about to that rule was Steve Harrington, and that was because he was her friend and she was biased. But even he wouldn’t have made quite a fine choice either back before Nancy Wheeler.

But there was something about Billy that set him apart from every other drooling, overly horny teenage boy she’d crossed paths with, and she’d noticed it from the first time he’d hit on her. Like he was one shiny new toy that intrigued something in her, that didn’t make her want to throw him in the same old and used pile. He was cocky and temperamental and definitely trouble, but she kept wanting to play this game with him whenever she had the chance. Maybe it was because getting someone like Billy Hargrove thrown off his game was for sure a pleasant sight, or maybe it was just because she was not blind and she could see how incredibly hot he was. Or maybe it was just because she wanted to see for how long he could take the heat without going up in flames.

But then, this strange sort of curiosity Penelope had about Billy intrigued her and scared her at the same time. She wasn’t one to be intrigued, she was one to intrigue, and yes, maybe messing with Billy was fun most of the time, but she had to constantly remind herself not to take the game too far. She didn’t need another complication. 

She puffed out the last smoke of her cigarette as she saw the source of her thoughts heading right towards his car, and as he came closer and saw her, she could notice his expression changing.

But whether he was surprised or happy or annoyed to see her there, she couldn’t tell. Because she was too busy being taken aback by seeing him up close again. There came that feeling again, she thought, the unnerving sensation in her body.

And as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t help but admire the sight of Billy Hargrove walking towards her. Frankly, he looked far better than any guy at Hawkins High who thought running up some stairs counted as a work out. The white shirt he wore was unbuttoned almost halfway down, and it would have made Penelope roll her eyes usually, had she not been too busy checking him out and wondering about what a sight he would be if she would have been to rip the rest of those buttons off. Even that stupid necklace looked good on him, and she thought about how it would have felt to pull at it, to draw him closer. The next stop her eyes took were his jeans, and how they hung just a little tight around his thighs, sending Penelope’s imagination even higher. And she didn’t even want to think about that hair, how it would be to just run her hands through the curls and pull at them slightly and…

What was wrong with her, she stopped her contemplation to wonder. She didn’t like him, she reminded herself. Billy was just another fucked up kid with enough messy issues of his own and an attitude to show for it, and she didn’t want to make this into anything more than what it was: a game. Just a game where she toyed with him to prove to herself and even to him that she could have anything she wanted, all the while he would eat from her palm.

But then again, she hadn’t lied with what she’d told him the last time. He was one waste of good looks indeed, but there was no denying those good looks.

So, Penelope put on what she knew was one of her playful smiles and threw her cigarette on the ground, ready for another round of playful banter.

What she wasn’t ready for though, was Billy’s reaction as he finally reached her and his car.

“Unless you plan on fucking me in the backseat, get the fuck off my car.”

His tone was just flat cold, and even his expression seemed angry, so Penelope couldn’t help but be taken aback at that outburst. She supposed she had it coming, on a second thought, given that a guy like Billy Hargrove wasn’t used to refusals, and she’d given him plenty of those. Still, she wasn’t gonna let her surprise show.

“Jeez, someone woke up cranky today.”

“I’m not kidding, Penelope.”

Penelope? She couldn’t remember if he’d ever called her anything else other than “sweetheart” or some version of the same kind of lame pet name. He was definitely in a mood, but she made a challenge out of turning that around.

“Maybe I just came here to ask you to prom,” she let one corner of her lips turn upwards, and threw him a mocking look, hoping he would take the bait and play along.

But he didn’t. Instead, Billy sighed, took the keys out the pocket of his coat, and headed towards the driver’s door. “Get off.”

“Who twisted your panties up in a knot, Hargrove? Can’t a girl just come here and chat?” 

He closed the driver’s door back abruptly, surprising Penelope again with the amplitude of his outburst. “I thought you made it pretty clear you don’t wanna talk to me.”

“I never said that.”

“No, you’re right, you said worse.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

For a few seconds, he just looked at her, with the same kind of mean, twisted expression she was not used to seeing on him. She didn’t know why it bothered her that he acted like this, but it did. Yes, maybe she did deserve this sudden coldness after the mixed signals she’d pulled on him, but she didn’t like it when her toys thought that they could decide when to stop playing. She was not done yet.

~Soundtrack: Tinashe – Boss~

Billy threw his keys back in his pocket and walked the distance between them, stopping right in front of her with the same cold expression. “After two weeks of radio silence, you changed your mind?”

She scoffed, finally understanding. “Is that what this is about? You’re butt hurt I ignored you for two weeks?”

“Look, sweetheart,” he said the last word differently now, making it sound bitter and sarcastic. She didn’t like that either. “I’m not dumb. I know you’re trying to play some game here, but I’m not biting this time. Go take that shit to someone who’ll buy it, I’m sure you’ll find plenty.”

To her surprise, her lips parted slightly in surprise involuntarily. Whatever was into him, he was not kidding about it, and it dawned on Penelope that today wasn’t the day for her to play all flirty and interested, she realized as he started to move away again. He was seeing right through it, so she had to play another card if she wanted her plan to work. 

So, she decided against honeyed lies and settled on the truth.

“I need a ride,” she blurted out all of a sudden while his back was still turned to her, and heard him give a humorless laugh. 

He turned around. “That’s rich.”

“Okay, fine, I’m not playing anymore, I’m serious. I actually need a ride.”

“And what the hell makes you think I’d give you one? Do I look like some kind of chauffeur to you?”

She exhaled a deep breath, resisting the urge to snap at him. “I’m trying to hide from someone.”

That, finally, seemed to catch his attention because his eyebrow raised and he didn’t look as pissed off. “Who?” 

“My ex,” she said with another sigh, rubbing with her hand over her forehead and feeling like a headache was about to build. “He saw me today and said he is going to come look for me after school, and I don’t wanna deal with his bullshit right now.”

“And what makes you think I wanna deal with yours?”

“Nothing,” she yelled exasperatedly, getting so close to just dropping it and walking away. “I thought I could come and ask for a favor, but never mind I guess.”

It was her turn to start walking away now, convinced that today was not the day to get anything out of Billy, when she felt his hand catch her wrist and stop her. 

She turned around angrily. 

“Okay so why do you need a ride away from him?” he asked, this time dropping his mean act and getting a strange look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite place, but it made their blueness turn almost darker.

“Because he’s an asshole,” she replied finally. “Ever since I dumped him, all he does is just follow me around and nag me to talk, to give him some second chance, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter how many times I keep saying no apparently. All I know is that I’m getting tired of his crap.”

“Is that him over there?” he asked, looking at someone behind her, and surely enough when Penelope turned to look too, there was Matt, a few feet away and looking at them in the most murderous way. She tried to resist the urge to smirk when she turned around to face Billy again.

“Yes.”

This time, Billy’s expression just turned angry again, and Penelope half expected him to start yelling at her again and say this was none of his business. But that was not what he did.

“Then how about I go have a chat with that little asshole?” he said in an even angrier tone, shooting dagger’s in Matt direction, and even went as far as to start walking towards him.

“No,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him and send him back to face her again. “Trust me, you’d just be causing more problems.”

“Well what do you think a ride away from him is gonna do, Penelope? You said it yourself, guy can’t take no for an answer, he should learn his lesson.”

And that was exactly the opening Penelope was looking for to put her actual plan in motion.

“As satisfying as seeing that would be,” she smirked up at him, put her hand on his chest and pushed him back slowly into the Camaro, enjoying his taken aback expression. “I have a better plan.”

She saw him gulp visibly at the sudden turn of events, and mentally high-fived herself. She still had it.

“And what’s that?” he whispered slowly, now looking down at her instead of over her shoulder at Matt, and Penelope wanted to laugh at how quickly they had gone from tension caused by anger to sexual tension. 

“Well,” she said and pushed him further onto the car until he was leaning on the hood, only to put the heel of her foot between his legs and push them slowly apart so she could place herself between them, all the while maintaining eye contact. “You’re Billy Hargrove, everyone knows about your reputation,” she used her hands as she kept speaking, with one still holding him pushed back against the car, and the other one running slowly up his almost exposed chest. “If someone were to, let’s say, see me with you, they wouldn’t dare make a move, would they?” 

She stopped and bit her bottom lip while smiling, looking at him between lowered eyelashes and knowing she’d already won. Because the guy looked just completely lost.

And if she were honest with herself, this sudden closeness was taking its toll on her, too. She could smell his sharp cologne enough to notice again how distinctive it was, and was getting a better, full on view of his perfect pink lips. She would lie if she said she didn’t find them so tempting right then. 

“You’re playing with fire here, sweetheart,” Billy finally spoke, voice low and making that knot twist again in Penelope’s stomach, as if it was warning her that she was getting too caught up in her own game.

Then, in spite of her better judgment, she reached over for the necklace she’d admired earlier and pulled lightly at it, bringing him even closer if that was possible. 

“Call me an arsonist then,” she whispered so close to his lips, and saw the glint of an idea shining in his ocean eyes, but too late to see it coming.

Because suddenly, Billy started playing into the game too, and his hands finally found her body, at first resting on her hips, and then venturing lower, until one hand reached her ass and then gripped. 

And as much as she hated it, she couldn’t help but let out a small, surprised gasp. The fucking bastard.

“Better give him a show then,” he smirked down at her, clearly enjoying her expression and the way he’d taken advantage of the situation knowing damn well she couldn’t protest or slap him.

And because he wasn’t done, he took his other free hand to push her hair off her shoulder, exposing her neck, and leaned in unhurriedly to kiss the spot right above her pulse point slightly.

If she felt like she was too caught up in her own game before, now she was completely buried six feet under it. It took every ounce of power Penelope had not to lean into his touch and let out a soft moan, so instead she bit her lip against one again. 

He really was a bastard, she thought, taking advantage of the situation like this. But he’d warned her, she had played with fire and hoped Billy wouldn’t burst out after pouring gasoline on him. And as his breath still tickled her neck and her nails now dug slightly into his chest, she couldn’t really bring herself to regret it. This was one of the hottest situations she’d ever been in, and he had barely even touched her, but she was too turned on right now to pay attention to the alarm bells ringing in her chest, confusing them for the thrill of the rush.

But then, Billy pulled back and spoke in her ear, breaking the spell. “Get in the car.”

And almost like she’d been burnt, Penelope pulled back abruptly and realized what she had just done. 

He smirked again at her, clearly with a turned around mood and a satisfaction with how things turned out, and she wondered how visibly it was that she was surprised by her own actions. 

Had she lost her mind? This was supposed to be just her toying with him, and now she’d let him play along by his own rules. It was getting dangerous, she thought, and she didn’t like not being in control for a change. Or getting side tracked and forgetting completely that this was supposed to be just as a sent message to Matt to make him jealous enough to back off.

But now she could still feel the heat in her whole body that he’d left there.

When he turned around with a grin still plastered on his face, and she moved to get in the passenger’s seat, Penelope decided this had been stupid of her. Billy Hargrove was too unpredictable to play this kind of games with, and apparently so were her own reactions to him.

From now on, she decided as he drove away and she looked for one last time at Matt’s angry expression, she was going to be more careful. She was going to keep her distance. 

Or so she hoped.

***

~Soundtrack: Chase Atlantic – Meddle about~

Billy was on fire.

That was the only way he knew how to describe what was happening to him right now, like his insides were burning, set ablaze by Penelope.

He got in the car and started driving away, praying Penelope wasn’t noticing the huge bulge in his pants, and also hoping that he would be able to drive the car with her in it without crashing them. He had a hard time gathering his thoughts after that moment in the parking lot, but once he did, he decided that must have been the hottest thing he had ever experienced. And it had been with clothes on and with just a few slight touches. But it was like he was still losing his head.

He turned on the AC in the car, not daring to look at her yet. How had she looked so composed, he wondered? The only sign she’d given had been that small gasp, and as insanely attractive he’d found that, her face remained just as unreadable afterwards, and even her breath sounded controlled while his was almost panting. The girl was a brick wall if she wasn’t affected by that in the slightest. 

This was so stupid, Billy thought. He had promised himself he would stay away from her, and at the first sight of her leaning against his Camaro, he’d known he was a lost cause. And he’d tried being angry and mean, tried to make her realize he meant business, but as soon she had mentioned that ex boyfriend, he had lost it. Just hearing about him had caught his attention, and then as soon as she’d started listing her issues with him, all he’d wanted to do was go over there and teach the guy a lesson for bothering Penelope. And he tried to tell himself it was because he had a problem with guys like him, who made a hobby out of being desperate and bothersome, but he felt like it was more than that. And he’d been too caught up in the moment to realize how dangerous that feeling of wanting to protect Penelope was.

He asked himself if he was pleased with how things had escalated, and found that he didn’t have an answer. He felt like he had her now, like he’d gotten some reactions out of her, and it took everything he had not to pull over the side of the road and fuck her senseless. His skin was still burning where she’d touched him, he couldn’t even imagine what feeling her entire body must have been like. But then, he had always made assumptions like this, and with Penelope they were always wrong. She always gave him something just to watch his face as she took it all away afterwards. He had a feeling this was exactly that.

So instead, he decided against doing anything right now. He let himself cool off before sneaking a glance in Penelope’s direction, and found her looking out the window. He really wanted to know what the hell was going on in that crazy head of hers. 

And because he couldn’t ask that, he settled for the next best thing. “So, do you think he’ll bother you again after that?”

She didn’t say anything for a while, and resumed looking out the window, long enough that he wondered if she’d even heard him. But eventually, she spoke. “I’ll handle him if he does.”

Billy let out a huff. “Sounds like you were pretty capable of handling him on your own now, too, then.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw her shrug and smile. “Maybe I just wanted a free ride home.”

And almost on cue, Billy reached their neighborhood and pulled in his usual spot in front of the house. Without missing a heartbeat, Penelope got out of the car, with him following close by. 

So because he knew she was going to go back into her house without another word, and he might not see her again for another two weeks, he decided he wanted to keep this little dance longer.

“What, no thank you?” he called after her. “C’mon, sweetheart, where’s my reward for that incredible acting we just pulled off?”

She stopped again and looked at him over her shoulder with the same, unreadable expression. “I think you already got your reward.”

He gave a short laugh, shoving his hands in the sides of his jacket leaning against the side of his car again. Just the memory of her body against his and his hand on her ass could drive him crazy again. “Fair enough, I can’t argue there.”

She seemed to study him for a few seconds, in that way she always did like she was calculating her next move again, and it would have been a lie for Billy to say his body didn’t hum in anticipation at what she might do next.

But whatever she decided on, it seemed like it wasn’t in his favor.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said over her shoulder, before turning around and walking towards her house.

Billy watched her as she walked away, wondering once more why the hell he felt so affected by this situation. This was so uncharacteristic, letting a girl make such a mess out of him without even letting him touch her properly, and he wanted to be angry again at her but he couldn’t. 

Because it finally dawned on Billy as he lit up a cigarette, that he was willing to play whatever game Penelope was trying to pull on him, as long as he got a few drops of the whole waterfall she had to offer. She had him almost wrapped around her finger and it wasn’t even upsetting him anymore. 

He decided right then, whatever Penelope wanted to throw at him, he would take it. He would take whatever he could get.

“Anytime,” he whispered as the sound of the door closing behind Penelope rang in the silent neighborhood.


	4. Would It Really Kill You If We Kissed?

CHAPTER 4 – WOULD IT REALLY KILL YOU IF WE KISSED?

~Soundtrack: Billie Eilish – Bad Guy~

Penelope rolled into school in the last two weeks of classes before graduation, already knowing she didn’t want to be there. She was late for two of her classes, she had not eaten, had nearly forgotten her pack of cigarettes at home, and she knew exactly what was going to wait for her as soon as she walked down the hallway,

Questions about Billy Hargrove.

Ever since that little moment of theirs in the parking lot a few days ago which had apparently had an audience, everyone had been all over her with questions about her and Billy. It was as if they were the new scandal of Hawkins High, which should not have surprised Penelope in the slightest, considering the most interesting thing to ever happen here was an Under the Sea themed prom. But still, it bugged her to no end. People with whom she hadn’t talked to in years, or maybe not at all ever, had come up to her to ask for how long had her and Billy been a thing, or how many times they had hooked up, or how big he really was.

Even the other day she had just erupted when a girl from English class has asked her how he was in bed.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking ugly, Karen, you’d know,” Penelope had told her, unable to control herself.

And she was not even bothering to deny it by this point, because everyone had seen that little show of theirs in the parking lot, and saying that had been just play and they hadn’t done anything, as true as it was, it would’ve sounded so ridiculous everyone would just laugh in her face.

They should’ve too, she thought. Because she had played a game of cat and mouse for 5 minutes with Billy Hargrove, and it was extending into a whole elaborate joke that everyone got the punch line but her. And she had realized it was becoming a real issue, too, when she had gone at a party the night after and tried to flirt with a guy she had just met, only to have him mutter something about her being Billy’s girl and how he didn’t want to get in trouble before he’d skipped like his life depended on it.

It was just unbelievable, really. Billy’s girl. How fucking ridiculous was that, and how sexist, too? She was no one’s, and in the past four years of high school, she’d made sure to implement that idea into every single mind of any stupid pervert who thought they could hit on her how they liked. She belonged to nothing, not to this high school, not to this city, not to any man. But now here she was.

Billy’s girl.

She was beyond frustrated with the entire situation. And she’d created it with her own hands, and her own stupid imagination gone wild, and especially, with her own mind going crazy by looking at Billy and allowing herself to get all hot and bothered. Maybe that was what pissed her off, no matter how much she tried to push it in denial. That it had been her fault. Yes, Billy had hit on her and yes, she had turned him down, but he’d stayed in his lane. It was her that had stepped out of it and gotten caught up in her game, like a spider that got caught in its own web while trying to catch a fly.

And she’d liked it too. The way she had gotten the best of him, the feeling of his ridiculously perfect chest under her hands, his sharp cologne and heavy breath. It was the most fun she’d ever had, and it had only lasted five minutes. But that was another thing to push into denial.

Because today, Penelope decided it was time to end some of those rumors. She had a reputation to maintain, and she was going to be damned if she let some attention-whore like Billy Hargrove ruin that for her. So, without thinking twice about whether this was the right call or not, as she often didn’t, Penelope made her way down the high school halls after one of her classes, and looked around. 

There wasn’t much to look at though, in the crowds of sleazy teenage boys, with hormones and a desperate vibe about them that most of the time turned her off. She’d had a few minor hook ups here and there, she remembered, and she’d picked the most decent out of all of them, so it would have figured that by now, there were really few options to begin with. Still, Penelope looked around for a potential play toy.

And God how she loved this game. How she had missed it too. Hunting, the spotting, the circling until she always got what she wanted, whether that happened to be just casual flirting that left them confused and turned on at the same time, or an actual fling. 

And because the odds were in her favor today, Penelope finally spotted someone that fit her general criteria. A few steps away, grabbing some books from his locker, stood a tall boy. The first thing she noticed about him appreciatively was how dark everything was about him, from his clothes to his hair and eyes and skin. He wore a baggy shirt that had a subtle V neck and a black cardigan over it, along with a dark grey scarf, which Penelope would’ve normally rolled her eyes at because of the whole artsy-misunderstood vibe he was trying to pull off, if only he hadn’t looked so damn good. His face was serious and focused, and he had a well-kept, but still a little scruffy looking beard, which added to his entire look. Oh, he looked like someone who could play along with her game. And she loved it.

The next thing Penelope did was to make her way over to him, walking confidently and letting a smirk tug at her lips. She was going to end that rumor today, or so help her God.

She arrived just in time when the guy was putting his books in his backpack, so she took the opportunity and put her hand on the locker, pushing it closed in his face abruptly. 

“Hi.” 

She smiled up at him in the way she knew it always had guys hooked, and for a split of a second, Penelope did the terrible mistake of remembering Billy’s infuriating blue eyes looking at her lips whenever she did that, but with a scold for even thinking about him right now, she focused on the guy in front of her.

He stopped whatever he was doing and turned sideways, looking her in the eyes a little lost. Again, almost out of instinct, Penelope thought of the way Billy’s eyes travelled up and down her body slowly and without an attempt at subtlety, while this guy’s eyes stayed fixed on her. Good, she thought again, feeling already mad at herself for comparing. She needed a nice guy for a change.

Slowly, the guy seemed to recover as he let a smile of his own form on his lips. “Hi.”

His voice sounded soft but steady, and not at all hoarse and rough. Penelope told herself again this was a good thing.

“I’m Penelope,” she spoke again after a moment of studying him and of letting herself get rid of any remaining thoughts of Billy. She was here to flirt with other people in an attempt to shake off whatever that moment with Billy had done to her in the parking lot. She had to focus.

“I know,” the guy said almost immediately, sounding more confident than Penelope would have given him credit for. “We have History class together.”

“And how rude of you that we’re just now talking.”

He gave a short laugh, and Penelope let herself admire for a second his bright and contagious smile, that still stayed on his lips as he looked at her more intensely now and extended his hand. “I’m Penny.”

She took his hand and noticed another good thing about this Penny, his handshake, firm and sure but intimate at the same time. “What a coincidence, people call me Penny too.”

He leaned in just a little and changed his tone, going from normal to playful. “So much we have in common already.”

Oh, Penelope had to give it to the guy, there was more to him than the eye could catch. He was playing along without seeming like the misunderstood loner she had initially taken him for. The puppy seemed to have a bite.

She let the rush of this back and forth ping pong game of flirting get a hold of her as she leaned in and met him halfway, already in each other’s personal space.   
“I’m sure we could have more,” she dropped her voice and gave it that huskiness she knew guys loved. “Like for example, we both look bored, and we both secretly want to get out of here.”

Penny clicked his tongue. “Too bad we have other classes left before the day is done.”

“Oh, come on now, Penny. Don’t act like you’re secretly not a bad guy, wanting to skip just a few classes. And I’m in terrible need of a smoking partner,” she nudged him with her shoulder, letting the dare in her eyes show. “So what do you say, huh? Penny for your thoughts?”

Penny narrowed her eyes for a few second, looking like he was thinking it over, before another grin lifted one corner of his mouth. “What’s in it for me?”

Gotcha, Penelope thought, feeling already like she’d won.

“I think you’ll find out more about that later.”

And she had him right where she’d wanted to, hooked and intrigued and definitely interested to follow wherever she would lead him, and she was now just as entertained with this whole situation that she was ready to consider this as something more than just some casual flirting. After all, she had to get out somehow all that sexual frustration that had been building up in her since that moment in the parking lot, and she could not think of a better candidate for that than this Penny, who looked like the exact opposite of Billy. Yes, she figured, maybe today could prove to be useful.

But just like that, she jinxed it. Because as soon as she opened her mouth to suggest again that they both get out of there, Penelope heard a voice behind her just as she felt an arm drop over her shoulders all of a sudden.

“Lopes, hi! I was looking everywhere for you, sweetheart.”

The universe hated her. That must have been it, Penelope thought. The universe hated her because the voice belonged to none other than Billy Hargrove, and his arm was now wrapped around her shoulder casually. And it took every ounce of patience Penelope had in her not to punch the asshole square in the nose as she looked up and saw Billy’s smug face staring down Penny, with a glint of amusement shining in his eyes.

“Who’s this?” he asked, and that was it for her.

In seconds, she shrugged his arm off abruptly and turned around to face him with what she was sure must have been the angriest expression. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she told him, feeling ready to make a scene if needed. She had nothing to lose, and she was pissed.

But still, Billy completely ignored her as he kept staring at Penny, the smile now gone from his face.

“Can I help you with something, buddy?” he asked Penny, even his voice taking a more intimidating tone. Oh, she was so close to punching him.

“I’m sorry, man,” Penny held up his hands, backing away a step. “I didn’t know she was your girl.” 

“I’m fucking not –“ Penelope hurried to say, only to be cut off by Billy again.

“Yeah, clearly,” he spat, not even trying to hide the hostility in his voice anymore. “Then how about you beat it, before I change my mind about being nice?”

What the hell was going on here? Penelope could just stare now between the two of them, trying to figure out what in God’s name was Billy trying to do and why. And why was Penny backing away like that?

But once more, before Penelope could open her mouth and clarify the situation, the school bell rang loudly, cutting her off, and everyone started heading towards their classes.

She saw Penny roll his eyes exaggeratedly before he dropped his backpack over his shoulder and half turned around to leave. “Whatever, I don’t care,” he muttered before turning around for good, leaving Penelope alone with Billy.

She stared at Penny’s figures as it got lost in the crowd for a few seconds, as one by one everyone walked down to their classes and vanished around the corner, leaving the entire corridor empty and silent.

She released a breath and turned around slowly to face Billy.

Oh, this was not going to end well, she thought before unleashing hell.

***

~Soundtrack: Marian Hill – No Hesitation~

“What the fuck is your problem, you piece of shit?” Penelope spat at him, her voice ringing down the empty hallway, and Billy could not say he was surprised in the slightest by her reaction.

“Woow,” he held up his hands and let out a laugh, sarcasm clear in his voice. “Is that the thanks I get for saving you from that ugly motherfucker?”

But Penelope was having none of it, because she took a step forward and pointed her finger threateningly at him, her eyes lightening up with a fierceness that took Billy a little aback. “You picked the wrong day to piss me off, Hargrove,” she said, voice just as venomous. 

Still, Billy was not surprised at all. He could tell how much this would piss her off before he’d even went ahead and done it. He could see himself walking towards them as soon as he’d seen them, could realize this was a really bad move to make, but could still not stop his feet from taking him there. And whether it was the fact that Penelope was there flirting with a stranger, or his own internal reaction at seeing them that had gotten him angry all of a sudden, Billy could not tell. All he knew was that there was Penelope, flirting with some random guy like she was close to shoving her tongue down his throat. 

And his blood just boiled at the sight. The guy could not even have been her type, he’d noticed, given that he looked like he had bought his clothes from a homeless guy for five bucks. He looked ruffled and not at all kept, and Billy knew the kind of type he was in an instant, that kind that could just flash the misunderstood genius card, too visionary for this world, and dumb girls would eat it up. But why was Penelope falling for it? Why was she leaning up against him, the same way she’d leaned up against him just days ago in that parking lot, like it was all just a choreography she used on everyone?

Next thing he’d known, there he was, all but hoping the guy would put up some sort of fight so that he could throw him against the locker and let out his anger. Unfortunately, he hadn’t, and now Billy was left alone with Penelope’s rage. He could not really say he blamed her, she had a point. What he’d done had been ridiculous. 

Still, he didn’t act like that.

He rolled his eyes and used the most bored and casual voice he could pull off. “Jeez, what are you so worked up about, Lopes? I did it as a joke, I just thought it was funny.”

“Well it wasn’t. And don’t fucking call me that,” she yelled at him, throwing her hands up and then letting them drop again at her sides. “The entire high school thought we’re a thing now. Wasn’t that enough, now you have to come and ruin my chances with someone else, too?”

Chances with someone else. Billy tried not to let that get to him but in vain, because he wanted to understand, if she were to go around and find hook ups, why couldn’t she have done that with him? Why was he the one she wanted to turn down?

But because he couldn’t ask that, Billy decided to yell at her, too.

“I did you a favor, he was clearly an idiot,” he let out a humorless laugh. “I mean come on, did he have his head up his ass when everyone talked about the two of us, or was he just trying to piss me off?”

“We are not a fucking thing!” she raised her voice even more this time, and if Billy wouldn’t have been so caught up in the argument, he would’ve worried about some teacher coming to see what the yelling was all about. “Don’t make it look like we are.”

“So what, the whole high school thinks we fucked, what’s the big deal?”

“Because I never fucked you, and I have no intention to either, I’m pretty sure I made that clear.”

And that was exactly the thing he’d been waiting for, the opening he needed. Because that must have been a lie. He was sure Penelope had felt the intensity they’d shared a few days ago, when her body had been so pressed up against his that everything he’d wanted was within reach. The tension had been so thick he could’ve cut it with a knife, and it all made sense now. She wanted to deny what had happened.

But he was not going to let her.

“Well, you see, if that’s true,” he spoke normally now, letting his anger fade, only to be replaced by the same old game of theirs they always seemed to end up playing. 

“Then you did a pretty job of making it look like you did want to in that parking lot.”

And he hoped she would take the bait, just like he hoped he wasn’t wrong about his assumption. He couldn’t have been the only one still finding himself remembering that moment between them, the way her hands had run up and down his chest or the way her body had felt under his hands. No, he was sure she remembered it just the same as he was, the only difference being that she wanted to forget it, while he didn’t.

But still, Penelope didn’t take the bait, and instead she squinted he eyes at him, shook her head and let out a puff. “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous.”

She didn’t ask, didn’t doubt, she simply stated. And because Billy refused to admit even to himself that might have been it, the tables turned and he became the one in denial.

“No, no, no, sweetheart. Jealousy implies I care, and I don’t,” he took a step forward, and let his voice drop as he got into her space again. “And neither do you. But we’re both adults here,” he licked his lips once, slowly, making sure Penelope noticed the move. “C’mon. You’re into me, I’m into you. Why waste your time with guys who can’t make it worth your while like I can?”

Of course, he knew he was bluffing. Penelope wasn’t the kind of girl who didn’t go for the things she wanted, in fact she was the exact opposite, something that had been proven by her little moment with that guy from minutes ago. She was bold enough to be a go-getter, but whenever it came to him, it seemed like she wanted to do the exact opposite of what he would expect from girls. But it wouldn’t kill him if he still tried, would it?

Her response came seconds later, after she studied him intently. “Is that what you really want?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what we both want,” he said confidently.

“Okay. Say please.”

And just like that, his confidence was gone. He blinked once, sure he didn’t hear her right.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Penelope told him this time more convincingly, and also took a step closer to him, crossing her arms against her chest as she prompted him with her firm gaze.”Say please.”

Still, the only thing Billy could do was stare. What the hell was her game here? Get him to beg?

He let out a short laugh, ready to tell her he would never beg for anything in his life. “I don’t –“

But nothing could have prepared him for what Penelope did next.

She grabbed his collar quickly and pushed him backwards into the locker so that his back was pressed into the cold metal, and her body was hovering over his.

And just like that, every coherent thought disappeared from Billy’s mind. All he could feel was her and his body becoming so painfully aware of how close they were, closer than they had been in that parking lot. He could feel every part of her pressed up tight against him, and if his brain hadn’t been so dead, he would’ve reached out and brought her even closer to him. 

But for the first time in his life, it was like he could not move. 

“Is this what you really want?” Penelope finally whispered, pressing even closer to him if that was even possible. “To just get out of here, go back to your place or mine and let me have my way with you?”

Her lips were so close to his, that he had a hard time even processing what she was saying. They were mere inches away, and she was taunting him by bringing them as close as possible without touching,

“I –“ he tried saying, and even if he could have finished that sentence, Penelope went on.

“Or maybe to just go over to your car right now, and show everyone how true those rumors are? Tell me, is that what you want?”

Jesus Christ.

What was this woman doing to him? He’d never been in a position like this, not with a woman, just pushed against the wall and taunted with words that made him even more of a mess than he already was. He’d never had someone corner him like this. Billy could not even decide if he liked it or not. But one thing was for sure though, and that was that his body was on fire again, and that whatever he’d hoped would happen since the parking lot moment was happening right now, and he could not process it. She was playing him however she wanted, and he was letting her. 

And so lost in those thoughts and in how close they could be, Billy didn’t realize how for a few seconds, he hadn’t said anything. She was just staring him down, with the challenge still fresh in her eyes, and when his hands were finally ready to get out of that frozen, intimidated state, Penelope let go of his collar abruptly and stepped back.

His body felt cold all of a sudden.

“That’s what I thought,” she said, all traces of tension gone from her tone and replaced by bitterness and the satisfaction of a won round. 

He opened his mouth to protest, to say that he did want this, but before he could do any of that, Penelope turned around and walked away from him, leaving Billy alone and confused and wondering what in God’s name had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short and sucky. I haven't really had time or the mood to write lately. But I promise the next chapter makes up for it. Stay tuned!


	5. Just Another Of Your Mistakes

CHAPTER 5 – JUST ANOTHER OF YOUR MISTAKES

~Soundtrack - Billie Eillish – When the party’s over~

Penelope couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this bitter mixture of being sad and angry, as if her chest couldn’t decide if it wanted to tighten with disappointment or burn with rage. What she knew for certain she was feeling though was the fact that it was amusing in a sick sort of way that even when you had no expectations whatsoever, someone could still let you down and make you discover a new level of loneliness that you didn’t know you could still reach.

It was her graduation day. And she had been surprised at first to hear that she’d graduated, as had been everyone else including her parents, but nonetheless she had passed all of her exams. So on the day of the ceremony, Penelope had gone out of her way look as victorious as she felt. She had put on a pretty black dress, not too short but not too long either, expensive and modest and outright beautiful, which was a first for her. She’d put on a pair of heels stolen from her mother and had even practiced walking on them without breaking a few bones. And most surprisingly, she’d decided to lose her black, edgy make up. There were no dark shades under her blue eyes, but instead just a natural look that she knew everyone else preferred on her because it made her look “more like a girl” as her father liked to put it.

She did everything she could to make herself presentable before putting on her blue robe and the hat and giving herself a onceover in the mirror. And she was just so proud of herself. After how much everyone told her that she never did enough to even pass high school, here she was, ready to prove them wrong and to look damn good doing it.   
And she felt ready for whatever was to come too. She felt ready to start planning for summer, to work her ass off to pay some of the student loans that were to come, to go to college and leave home for good, while also proving her parents how truly capable she was. Today was the first day of the many good ones that were to come. She was sure of it.

So, before going out of the house to meet the friends that were picking her up, Penelope left her mother a voicemail to tell her she would meet them there.

What Penelope didn’t expect, though, was the exact opposite of that happening.

It was one o’clock, and everyone had taken their seats. She looked around for her parents but didn’t see them. She figured they were late.

It was half past one, and the teachers’ speeches were over. She looked around again, but still no sign of them. She figured there must have been traffic.

It was two o’clock, and they started calling the students on stages. She checked the seats from the back and saw no familiar face. She figured they might have gotten the hour wrong.

It was a quarter past two and her name was called. She climbed on the stage, hands shaking in maybe nervousness or anger, and looked around for the last time. She finally figured they weren’t coming. 

Still, Penelope tried not to let this get the best of her. She stood there, trying to smile as a diploma was handed to her, as some gave their pompous speeches, and as they threw their hats in the air, with no one to watch as she caught hers. She smiled and took photos and celebrated with her friends, not bothering to scan the crowd anymore. And it could have been so easy to pretend she didn’t actually care, that maybe it was best her parents hadn’t showed up because she didn’t need them to, not when they had never supported her anyway. Even if they had come, they probably would have ruined this for her. 

But in spite of those reasons, Penelope refused to go out for drinks with her friends when invited, giving a half-assed excuse for it. She walked the distance to her house, still in her graduation robe, and smoked through half of her pack without realizing that she was practically sprinting to get home the more she thought about what had happened.

And when she got there, opening her front door and ready to see them there, nonchalant and uncaring while she was fuming from every poor, disappointment hit Penelope even more than she thought it could still manage to. Because the entire house was quiet.

She closed the door behind her slowly and threw her hat on the couch in the living room before going to scan the rest of the house. But halfway through the search, Penelope stopped in the kitchen and saw the note left on the table with her name on it. She took it reluctantly and read.

Dad and I went to visit your uncle in Bloomington for the weekend, he’s sick. We’re gonna be back Monday. Make sure you cook yourself something. 

– Mom

And Penelope supposed it was sort of inexplicable why she felt her chest tighten like that. Because she knew her parents, of course they didn’t give a damn about anything but themselves, or about a daughter they’d made it clear plenty of times they had never wanted. She knew them so well because of the many occasions they’d proven to her that trusting them not to disappoint her was a huge mistake. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t know why she had expected them to show up, they had never said they would, they had just simply smiled and nodded when she’d invited them to her graduation. Maybe they had even forgotten about it. 

But still, she could not help the loneliness that overcame her. Like it was just a terrible pit inside her chest, dark and cold and quiet with nothing to make it less miserable, so she had to sit through it and admit no rope would pull her up. She was on her own. She might have as well pretended she liked it like that. But then, why was everything feeling so heavy all of a sudden, even the silence in the room?

Penelope stood like that for a few seconds, with that note still in her hand that she gripped tight and crumpled it, before she realized sad wasn’t what she was supposed to be feeling. No, they didn’t really deserve that, nor did she. No one made her sad like that. What she was feeling now was anger, because it made a lot more sense. Whether they had forgotten or deliberately chosen not to show up, it was not fair, not when they had given her so much bullshit about not being to graduate. And now that she had, they just hadn’t wanted to face the fact that they were wrong about their daughter all along. 

None of it was any fair, especially that she would have to spend such an important day alone. She needed to let out her anger. She needed something. 

She needed another cigarette, Penelope decided as she finally threw that note in the trash. She kicked aside brutally the chair standing in the way and stormed outside, slamming the door behind her. And she was shaking from every limb too, with an anger that overcame her so suddenly that she didn’t know where it had all surfaced from. 

She reached for her pack and even went as far to take a cigarette out and put it between her lips before she heard the sound of a car door shutting. And she knew exactly what expected her before she even lifted her eyes from the ground.

~Soundtrack: Maroon 5 - Animals - Electric Guitar Cover by Kfir Ochaion~

A few feet away from her house stood Billy Hargrove’s Camaro, as shiny blue and gorgeous as ever, and coming out of it was Billy, with a cigarette between his lips and a light blue collar shirt that was, of course, unbuttoned halfway down and that Penelope could not help for the life of her but notice that it was matching his ocean eyes. And he was looking right at her.

Great, exactly what she needed. To be reminded that Billy Hargrove existed.

She sighed and watched him as he stood like that for a few seconds, looking at her while leaning against his car and blowing a cloud of smoke. 

“Damn, Lopes,” he spoke all of a sudden, loud enough for Penelope to hear him, with the cigarette still between his lips. “New look suits you.”

She frowned, looking down at herself and remembered she wasn’t wearing her usual dark clothes and dark make up, but still her blue graduation robe with heels and the dress underneath. And she could feel his eyes scanning her entire body, hungrier than usual.

And the first thing Penelope wanted to do was roll her eyes, because that was the instinctual reaction when it came to Billy, the boy with all talk and no bark. She even remembered their last moment, two weeks ago, when she’d caught him being jealous of Penny and she’d pushed him into a locker to prove how easily he could back off like a scared little boy if she took control unexpectedly. Funny, she observed, she hadn’t thought about that since it had happened.

And what a big mistake it was to remember that. Because it brought with it the memory of having someone like Billy Hargrove backed into a corner, with his chest heaving and his hot breath on her face, all at her mercy to either push away or bring closer. And now she remembered she’d liked it too. She had done it to prove a point, to prove that she had the upper hand and he was no match for her. But as soon as her body had been pressed up against his, it had felt like the exact opposite of that. 

Because she’d enjoyed it more than she had planned. His lips were so close while she was talking about the things they could do to prove everyone in Hawkins that the rumors were true, and it was as if she’d gotten so caught up in her own fantasy game, that she couldn’t tell the difference between pretending she wanted this and actually wanting it. And originally, that had scared her enough that she had pushed Billy away, feeling satisfied with her manipulation.

But now? Now, as she was looking at him and saw the way he was looking at her, now that it was her graduation day and she was all alone, now that she was angry with everything around her, she could not find one damn reason to be scared.

She dropped the cigarette on the ground as realization hit her. He wanted her. He’d wanted her since he had put that cigarette with his phone number behind her ear, since he had found her sleeping in his car, since she’d driven him nuts in that parking lot, and especially since she’d pushed him against a locker. There was a guy right in front of her who wanted her so much it showed, a star of Hawkins High with the looks of the Californian bad boy everyone knew he was. 

And as she climbed the stairs from the front porch into the lawn and walked with determined steps towards Billy, Penelope realized she wanted him, too.

Billy frowned at seeing the look on her face, and spoke before she reached him. “Jeez, what’s wrong?”

But she didn’t answer that.

What she did instead was use her hands to push him by the shoulders at full force against the side of his car before attacking his mouth with hers. And she wondered why she hadn’t done that sooner as soon as their lips touched and she felt the warmth of his. 

With one hand on his chest she held him pressed against the car, and the other rushed to tangle itself in his hair the way she had wanted to do the moment she’d thought of what it would be like to kiss Billy Hargrove. She made a fistful of his hair and started moving her mouth against his, letting out all the frustrations in that kiss, both with him and everything about today. And he tasted salty, both refreshing and menacing at the same time.

If she could describe what kissing Billy Hargrove was like, she would have said it was like running into the ocean on a hot summer day. Like diving right in the cold water without a thought, letting the waves raise you up while the saltiness of the water imprinted itself on your lips. It felt like any anticipation could not have prepared her enough for this.

And to her own surprise, Billy responded to the kiss right away. As soon as her hand tangled itself in his curly long hair, one hand flew to her hips and pushed her closer towards him while the other cupped her face, and every touch felt like a new current, like a new way she could get swept up. And the minute her nails dug into the back of his neck and she heard him groan against her lips, Penelope knew she was a goner.

She let their mouths move together until it felt like all breath was running out of her and until she could feel all that frustration fading away, making space for a new kind of burning. And before she could let that grab a better hold of her, Penelope pulled away and looked at Billy, sure that she must have looked just as flushed as he was.

So because the sight of a surprised, taken aback Billy was almost as good as the kiss itself, Penelope spoke before she could change her mind.

“Tonight. 8PM. Knock twice and don’t be late.”

She didn’t know where all that confidence was coming from considering that, as empowering as taking control of the kiss like that had felt, it had also left her more unnerved than anticipated. But she could at least still find pride in the fact that she looked more put together than Billy. His curly hair was messy and his shirt crumpled, and his pink lips swollen. His breath was still coming in quick, and his face looked like it was still processing what had just happened.

But nonetheless, he put himself back together fast enough to give a response. “Yes, ma’am.”

Penelope had to force her lips against a smile at that. Just like she had to force herself not to lean in again and drown. So, because it seemed like she wasn’t a fan of thinking rationally today, she let go of his body and turned around, feeling cold all of a sudden despite the heat that had taken over her body. 

She walked away, leaving a gaping Billy Hargrove behind, and didn’t have time to wonder if this was the stupidest decision she’d ever taken or not before she closed the door behind her and leaned against it, with the taste of Billy’s lips still lingering on her own.

***

Billy let the chilly droplets of water run down his bare back as he leaned with his hands on the cold tiles and closed his eyes. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to get a hold of himself and hoping a cold shower would get him out of the haze that Penelope Skye had put him in.

Two hours had passed since that kiss.

He’d stood in the shower for what must have been ten minutes before he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist. From there, everything was a routine he knew all too well. 

It was a douche thing to have a routine before going over to a chick’s place to have sex, but Billy did. He would take a shower, blow dry his hair, put on one of his best shirts which tonight happened to be the dark red one, spend at least half an hour on his hair making sure every curl was in the right place, all the while smoking cigarettes and blasting his favorite rock songs.

But tonight, he didn’t really feel like he had the patience to deal with that routine. Tonight, all he kept doing was checking the clock.

He felt like he was wrapped around Penelope’s pinky finger and he hated it. He could not remember the last time he had been so taken aback by a kiss, or by even a girl, that he would forget to take control and let her dominate him like that. He was as hooked as a fish, that even now he could not wrap his head around everything that had happened, how she’d stormed over to him, pushed him against his own car and went straight for the thing Billy had always hoped he would get from her but thought he never would. Even now, he licked his lips involuntarily hoping for a remaining taste of her. 

Oh, and how it had been worth all that teasing, too. If Billy would have known that her little games would lead to this, he would’ve let her do whatever she wanted without any protest whatsoever. And as if that kiss hadn’t been surprising enough, she’d invited him to come over tonight, too. God, the woman was such a hurricane that he felt compelled to run to despite the warning signs in his mind. She was unpredictable and messy and with the power to burn him to the ground, and he was here, still craving for more. 

Even so, Billy could not help but chastise himself. Yes, she was all that and so much more, with qualities – if he could even call them that – that he had never thought he would find in a girl. But so was he. He’d come all the way from California like a tidal wave ready to swipe away Hawkins, and whatever he’d wanted he’d claimed. He was just as dangerous, just as much of a match for Penelope’s fire, but he’d never gotten the chance to act on any of that, sure she wouldn’t want him to. But now she wanted him to. And all he had been able to say was “yes, ma’am”, like a compliant little boy? Perhaps he’d been too taken aback to register what Penelope was doing to him and his entire body, but now he was catching up. And he was ready to stop Penelope from having all the fun.

So, a few minutes before 8pm, Billy put out the rest of his cigarette, yelled at Max to tell her he wouldn’t be coming home tonight, and headed over to Penelope’s house ready to play his own cards.

***

~Soundtrack: Somo – The Somo Medley~

Billy knocked twice, like he was told to. He waited, not for a second doubting Penelope would open the door. It was weird really, the confidence that seemed to overcome him so suddenly, considering that ever since he’d met this mess of a woman all he’d done was question everything she did, even when she would make his head spin. But now, some of that was gone. Now, he waited knowing for a fact he wouldn’t put up with any of Penelope’s games.

And surely, Billy didn’t have to knock a second time.

Penelope opened the door and looked at him, and if there was one thing that could still shake up his newfound confidence, it was how drop dead gorgeous she looked. If he thought she looked stunning in that graduation robe and in those heels, then the view in front of him right now was enough to knock him out. She wore a simple black dress, short enough to show a part of her perfect thighs, but long enough to still make you wonder, and from upwards it hugged her waist and chest perfectly that Billy had a hard time making himself tear his eyes from that and to her face. But when he did, he didn’t regret it because her hair was let down so that the waves cascaded around her bare shoulders, and her sky blue eyes were still untouched by that overly dark make up, just wide and almost innocent looking to anyone naïve enough to think that.  
And she looked at him like he was the prey that she wanted to eat up for dinner. And with how dumbstruck he was for a few seconds, Billy would have let her.

“Lopes,” he said eventually after recovering, letting his nickname for her go slowly on his lips. 

Penelope held her chin high and studied him right back. “William.”

His lips curled upwards slightly at that. 

He wanted to tell her she looked great. He wanted to tell her that kiss that driven him insane, and that he’d thought about it all day. He wanted to tell her he was minutes away from fucking her right there in the doorway. But he did none of that.

Penelope stepped aside while still watching him with those ravenous eyes, whose intensity was probably matching in his own eyes, and Billy understood no words were meant to be said right now, it wasn’t about that. So instead, he took a step forward and walked inside, slow and deliberate and looking down at her the entire time, and to no wonder of his, she didn’t back away or show any sign that she was intimidated by his sureness.

In fact, Billy saw it in her eyes, the look he recognized all too well, the look that said she was seconds away from throwing him around and tear him to pieces. And because he didn’t want to let her do that just yet, he acted first. 

With one quick move that matched hers from just hours ago, Billy cupped her face with both of his hands and kissed her, walking her backwards into the wall behind her. She gasped a little into the kiss, despite how clearly it had shown that it had taken all the power he had not to kiss her the moment she’d opened the door. She tried to grab his collar and take control by pushing him back then probably slam him into the wall, which seemed to be her signature move by now, but before she could do that, Billy grabbed her wrists and held them against the wall, pinning them there while he kept moving his lips hungrily but surely against her own. And the small moan she made and that vibrated through his mouth assured Billy that for him, there was no going back from here. He was a dead man.

He wanted to trace every line of her body in that dress, feel her curves underneath, feel the warmth of her thighs and the feeling of her chest against his mouth, but he knew that as soon as he would let go of her hands, the situation would change. So instead, Billy stopped the kiss and moved his way down to her neck, breathing in her minty scent and feeling the heat of her body. He planted a soft kiss in the same spot he had done weeks ago in that parking lot, but didn’t stop there this time and continued his journey all over every sensible speck of skin he could find, making her back arch. 

Her breath came in quicker as she let her head fall back and give him better access, and because he didn’t want to stop until he heard her make that beautiful sound again, he lifted his thigh a little and placed it right between her legs, holding it pressed there.

And there it was.

Penelope moaned again, this time louder, and Billy let a lazy smile form on his lips as he kept kissing her neck, deciding that it was his favorite sound in the world. And he was going to be damned if he didn’t hear it all night.

“Billy,” she breathed out eventually as he reached her ear and bit gently at her earlobe, and Billy could swear he could feel the goose bumps forming on her skin. Still, his name didn’t sound like a moan or a groan, but instead like the beginning of a sentence. And he finally realized how frustrating this must have been for her, being out of control like this.

He stopped and looked back up at her, feeling his voice full of lust as he said, “I don’t wanna hear it, sweetheart.” And then he was kissing her again, this time slower and without the same kind of rushed hunger. 

But before he could expect it, Penelope’s teeth found his bottom lip and she bit it, not gently or rough either, but enough to drive Billy to the point where he was done prolonging this. He saw her smirk up at him before, in another fast move, he grabbed her legs and lifted her up to straddle his waist, then started walking her to what he hoped was her bedroom.

He walked her blindly without breaking the kiss and while grabbing onto her ass this time to keep her steady, and her hands gripped his hair in the same way he had loved when she’d done it hours ago, pulling at it gently enough to make him groan this time. He felt they reached the door and Penelope opened it with one of her hands, and from there, it was finally familiar territory. 

She had started to undo the buttons on his shirt that by the time they reached the bed and dropped in it, she was done with all of them. He pulled back from her and took off the shirt hurriedly, feeling her eyes scanning his body before her hands followed, tracing his chest with her fingernails. Once she reached his necklace she pulled at it again, another signature move, and crashed their lips together. He could not get tired of kissing her, he was sure.

Without breaking it, he placed his hands on her bare thighs and grabbed onto the skin there, too needy to be gentle by this point, before lifting her up and placing her on his lap so that he would have better access to the zipper in the back. He moved his hands fast and brought the zipper down in one swift move, but took his time pulling her dress down. He started kissing his way down from her jawline to her neck and then to her shoulder, pulling down the straps of her dress as he went until finally it was down to her waist and he could see the perfect lacey dark bra she wore. He kissed his way down her chest too, enjoying every single sound she made and the way she arched her body and pressed it as close as possible to his, all the while running her hands through his hair or up and down his back.

Billy could not remember the last time he’d gotten so lost in a girl, so into her body and her sounds and her hands working on him that his mind would just go completely blank. He could think of nothing else he would rather be doing, or any other moment alone he’d ever had with a chick that had compared to this. It was like he was in a trance, yet his hands and mouth and body had a mind of their own and knew how to get those little groans out of her.

And because he wanted to make her feel as good as she was making him feel by just letting him touch her like that, the moment Billy felt she wanted to push him down so that she’d be on top of him completely instead of just his lap, he acted fast again and flipped both of their bodies over so that she was under him now. 

She gave another surprised gasp against his lips, and when he moved to kiss her neck again, she spoke.

“You’re sure keen on not letting me have my fun, aren’t you?”

He smirked against her skin and his voice was just as lusty as he felt right about then, like he was on the verge of exploding. “The night’s young.”

She gave a small, breathless laugh as he lowered his kisses onto her half exposed chest, and then lower until he reached the hem of her dress and pulled himself up for a moment to take it off all the way, before throwing it on the floor like he’d done with his shirt.

And for a second, he just looked at her, in her matching underwear and with her perfect curves finally showing underneath him, breathless and just as hungry for him as he was for her.

And he couldn’t help himself from speaking. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Lopes, did you know that?”

But she grabbed the back his neck instead, pulling him down into another forceful kiss, and reached with her other free hand for the belt on his jeans. Billy stopped her, grabbing both of her wrists again and pinning them down, earning another groan from Penelope. He restrained from making another comment about that too, and instead, started working his way down.

“Fuck, Billy.”

He smirked up again at her. “Not just yet, sweetheart.”

He kissed her neck and chest again, taking his time with it, and the only sign of impatience Penelope showed was unhooking her own bra and throwing it hurriedly on the floor, on the forming pile. He groaned at that sight, feeling the bulge in his pants even more than before, and started kissing on the newly exposed skin, biting and licking on every sensitive spot he could find until she was a mess in his arms. And when he felt content with that, he kissed his way all the way down to her abdomen, looking up at her with every gentle kiss he placed just close to where she wanted him, before going back up again and earning another groan. If there was one thing Billy could be proud of, it was bringing Penelope into this state just by teasing.

Eventually he reached her panties and touched with his finger the dripping wet spot right on them, hearing Penelope’s moan grow louder this time. And then, without breaking eye contact, he took the hem of the black panties between his teeth and pulled them down slowly, driving both himself and Penelope crazy. 

And he would have stopped to admire that view too, had he not been so hungry for her body to the point of combusting. Still, he didn’t rush but instead kissed the inside of her thighs for a few minutes, until he could feel her hands pulling his head to where she wanted him, and with another full of himself smirk, he complied.

And if he thought Penelope had been a mess before, now she was a puddle in his arms. She groaned and pulled his hair harder, making Billy even more greedy for her body and proud of his own skills. Still, seeing her like that, her body weak in his arms and her legs shaking every time he touched that spot, it just did it for him too. He was ready to stay down there for hours, enjoying the taste of Penelope on his tongue and the sight of her gorgeous body every time he looked up, but apparently he didn’t have to, because only minutes into doing this, and Penelope’s groaned swears had started to grow louder. She arched her back as she finally came and her thighs started shaking against his head, and Billy slowed his movements letting her ride out the feeling.

And when she finally pulled him up despite how much he would’ve loved to stay there and she crashed their lips together once more, Billy realized how much his body needed her too. He let himself get lost in the aftermath of her orgasm, on her taste still lingering on her lips, and let his guard down for a second. Just enough for Penelope to act.

As soon as she caught the opportunity, Penelope pushed him over in one sudden motion and climbed on top of him, taking his hands and holding them above his head just like he’d done to her minutes ago.

He looked up at her, breathless, and realized he should have seen this coming. But the sight of her naked body on him made any coherent thought vanish from his mind anyway.

She smirked down at him before speaking, and Billy knew that smile all too well. It was the one that said Penelope Skye meant trouble.

“My turn.”

***

~Soundtrack: Kiiara – Messy~

Billy woke up the next morning with the sunlight coming through the windows and into his eyes, letting out a groan and reaching over involuntarily with his hand for the silhouette next to him, only to find there was none. He woke up fully then, standing on his elbow and rubbing his eyes with the other hand, finally looking around the unfamiliar room.

Now that it was in broad daylight, Billy noticed the room completely. The walls were painted white and the bed was on the far end of the room opposite with the window, and next to it there was a desk full of books and empty bottles. Above it there was a shelf full of CDs and a stereo radio, and next to the shelf there were posters of all bands he recognized, The Police, Duran Duran, Billy Joel, Vixen. And the one poster that caught his attention was the huge one on the closet of Lee Aaron’s that read ‘Metal Queen’. Billy smiled lazily, thinking there were still some improvements that could be made to her music taste, but she was on the right track.

But still, that was not what caught his attention the most. What did was Penelope, standing in the middle of the room unaware he was watching. She was putting on a long sleeved shirt, doing its buttons with her back to him and wearing nothing but that shirt. And just like that, memories from last night came flooding.

They must have fallen asleep at five in the morning, Billy remembered with satisfaction. He looked around again at all the places where they had done it, from the bed to the desk, the wall, even against the wardrobe closet. And it had been, hands down, the best sex Billy had ever had. Usually, he wouldn’t spend the night at any chick’s place, even if it was Penelope, but they had both just fallen exhausted, unable to move. It had all been a mixture of him trying to be in control or her wanting to be as well, until they would each give into the other and wait for their turn. And seeing Penelope Skye in control, confident and knowing damn well what she was doing to him, it had blew his mind the entire night.

Yep, Billy thought. It was safe to say last night had been a success.

He got out of bed and grabbed his pair of boxers from nearby, finally catching Penelope’s attention. 

“That’s a nice view to wake up to,” he said, voice still sleepy, and reached for his tossed around jeans without tearing his eyes from her half naked body.

Penelope smiled faintly at him without saying anything, before putting on the rest of her clothes, too. Billy wondered for a second if it would be awkward if he just finished dressing and left, given that was what he usually did. He also wondered if he would have to give Penelope the speech of ‘this was great but I’m not really looking for anything serious right now’. The sex had been great, and he was definitely looking forward to doing this again in the same casual manner, but right now all he kept thinking was how to get out of here without making everything awkward.

So, he opened his mouth to speak, only to have her beat him to it. 

“Listen, about last night,” she started, wrinkling her nose a little. “Let’s pretend it never happened, mkay? Kay.”

Billy stopped doing his belt and simply blinked, sure he hadn’t heard correctly. “What?”

“I mean, it was clearly a mistake, we both agree. So let’s just move on like adults and never talk about it again.”

“What?” he repeated, this time louder. “A mistake? What’s the matter, I thought we both enjoyed it? You sure as hell looked like you were from where I was standing.”

Penelope rolled her eyes, making Billy feel even more irritated. “Yeah it was great, I agree. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake or that it should happen again,” she picked up his red shirt from the ground and threw it at him. “You know the way out.”

And no matter how much he recognized that speech of hers, because he’d been the one giving it to an awful lot of girls, Billy couldn’t help but yell at her. 

“This is bullshit. Don’t talk to me like I’m some desperate girl who’s trying to stick around after a one night stand, okay? What did you think, that I was gonna invite you over for brunch? You just beat me to telling you the same thing.” 

Penelope rolled her eyes for the second time. “Okay, then why are you still here?”

“Because you’re full of bullshit,” he shouted, feeling uncomfortable with how this was playing out. 

“Or,” she said in a mocking voice. “You’re just not used to receiving the same treatment you give girls.”

And because she guessed exactly his thought process, that seemed to get him even more frustrated. It was such an unexpected ending to the night they’d just had, to how amazing it had been, and now she was ruining it by wanting to choose who gave the one night stand speech. Even after everything that had happened, Penelope Skye could still leave him speechless. 

“Look, Billy,” she sighed and spoke in a more serious tone. “Like I said, let’s be adults here. We both agree this was a onetime thing. Why is it important who kicks who out?”

And she was right again. It wasn’t important. It never had been. If any other girl would have told him to get out in the morning, he would have already been out the door. But maybe what bothered him was how, after a great night of sex they’d had, she’d called it a mistake. When he didn’t think it was that at all. 

And the fact that he let himself be bothered by that simply increased the anger. It shouldn’t have mattered. 

He let out a scoff and finished putting on his shirt, not bothering to button it. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

And with those last words, Billy turned around and left Penelope’s house, slamming the door on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, in my defense, i did say it was SLIGHT smut in the tags. So don't hate me because I didn't get too specific or generous with the details. I just didn't feel 100% comfortable describing stuff like that without sounding too metaphorical or too plain. Sorry, guys. But i hoped you enjoyed it anyway! I'm sure you don't lack imagination :))). Let me know what you thought of this chapter! After all, we have only two more to go.


	6. Cruel Summer

CHAPTER 6 – CRUEL SUMMER

Penelope woke up with the worst hangover headache. She groaned, cursing the sunshine in her eyes and last night’s drinks, and most importantly, the annoying sound of her alarm. She slammed the clock on the ground, smashing it just enough to throw the batteries out of it, and buried her head under the pillow. What the hell had happened last night?

She vaguely remembered going to a party, even though whose she couldn’t really remember. She remembered getting there, dancing, and then pouring herself shots of tequila one after the other, until the room was spinning with her when she danced. What she didn’t remember though was how she’d gotten home or why she was missing one shoe. 

But then again, Penelope figured none of this should have surprised her. For the last couple of weeks, all she’d done was drink herself to oblivion and then somehow still miraculously find her way home. At first, she’d done it just to piss her parents, as if seeing their daughter in this state would bring some sort of parental instinct in them and they would realize how substantially they had fucked up by leaving her alone on her graduation day. But when she’d seen that their parents only saw this as another way to turn all the blame on her and say how incompetent she was, she continued with the drinking just to have an excuse to get out of the house and do something to forget how awful her life was right now. 

And she’d kept this habit up, until just a few days earlier, she had finally come up with the best escape plan. All summer, she would look for the best paying job in Hawkins and save enough for fall, so that she could run away to Chicago without telling her parents and wait until the late admissions in the spring to enroll into one of the universities there that had psychology majors. It was the absolute perfect plan, and once she would be there, free from her parents and everything that meant Hawkins, she would get a job in Chicago and everything would work out just fine.

So, Penelope had started with the first step, finding a job in Hawkins. With another hangover, she’d walked around the small town and caught wind of the fact that the best available job she could get right then was at the Hawkins Pool as a lifeguard, given that a spot had just become available. Hearing that, Penelope had almost yelped with excitement. So she would get paid to sit on her ass and yell at kids or teach them some swimming lessons. It sounded like the easiest job there was.

She’d gone there and to her surprise, they had hired her on the spot especially after hearing she’d been in the swimming team for the first two years of high school. From there, they’d told her everything she needed to know, and that she would start in a few days, filling in for Heather Holloway who had just quit.

And now today was her first day. And she was going there with a hangover.

She got out of bed with another groan and went straight for her closet, taking out the swimsuit they had given her after the interview, putting it against her body and thinking it wasn’t all bad at least, red had always suited her. 

So, thirty minutes later after she got ready, Penelope came downstairs and grabbed the first snack out of the fridge she found, without bothering to answer her parents where she was going, just like she didn’t bother to tell them anything these days. And because she’d decided as of late that she was completely off the rails and she loved it, she stole the keys to her dad’s car without him noticing and climbed inside with a smirk, knowing damn well she was going to get an earful for this when she would be back and not caring at all. 

Yes, Penelope decided as she drove away in her dad’s car. Being officially off the rails suited her.

She parked in front of Hawkins’ pool building, surprised to see how many people were there so early in the morning, and went in with another curse at all the sunlight that didn’t help her headache in the slightest. She walked to the main desk where she was informed that she would spend 5 hours on the pool ground, supervising everything until the next lifeguard would come to change shifts, and then another 5 hours at the front desk until closing. Sounded easy enough to her.

She spent her shift on the lifeguard chair bored out of her mind, with her dark sunglasses on to make her hangover less visible, and found that the only eventful thing happening all day was a kid managing to drown in 5 feet pool. But other than jumping in the pool to save an idiot kid and blowing her whistle at running assholes, Penelope could say this was better than she’d expected.

She looked at her clock now and saw that it was 10 minutes to 2 o’clock, which meant her change of shit was coming. She climbed down from the chair wondering if she would have time to catch a smoking break before the person she was supposed to change places with would come, but then figured the pool wouldn’t go apeshit if she left for ten minutes.

She reached for the bag at her feet to take out the pack, and froze mid movement. 

~Soundtrack: Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer ~

The door at the end of the pool coming from the main desk opened and through it walked none other than Billy Hargrove, with a cigarette dangling from his lips as always, and wearing a pair of brown sunglasses and a whistle around his neck, identical to hers. He wasn’t wearing a top, which should not have surprised Penelope considering Billy would take any opportunity to display himself, yet what did surprise her were his red shorts. Because they matched her bathing suit.

Shit.

This couldn’t be happening, Penelope thought. She knew she would change shift with another lifeguard, but there was no way in hell that would just happen to be Billy Hargrove, the guy she’d avoided for weeks now. How had she not known about this before taking the job?

For a split of a second, she looked at him before thinking over her next move. His hair was even curlier than usual, and his perfect chest looked like it was goddamn glistening, and considering the trail of women that stood there just gawking at him, Penelope supposed it was all a show for the audience. She even wondered before she could help herself how much time he spent in the mirror – which she knew he did given that she’d seen him through the window to his room, and also given that no one just looked like that – all because he wanted to catch the attention of the girls and middle aged women that were practically devouring him with their eyes. 

Penelope cursed herself for wasting time wondering about that, and started thinking of a way out of any interaction with him. She had spent weeks avoiding him and they were neighbors, how difficult could this be? After all, Penelope Skye wasn’t one to handle confrontations with ex flings very well, especially after how awkward she and Billy had left things.

She turned around, figuring that if she went through the parking lot and went around back before he could see her, it would go smoothly. So, as quick as she could, she took a right and began walking away, locking her eyes to the ground. And that was why she didn’t see the person in front of her until she bumped into his chest.

Firm hands grabbed her elbow, and as soon as she looked up, she couldn’t help the next words coming out of her mouth.

“Fucking hell.”

Matt laughed loudly, the same kind of obnoxious, annoying laugh she remembered. “It’s good to see you too, Penelope.”

It was her first day on the job, her first real day of summer, and it was all starting so cruelly. She was trapped between an ex hook up who would spot her anytime now and figure out they were working together, and her one and only ex, who’d been on her nerves ever since the break up. Whoever was up there sure didn’t feel like throwing any favors her way today.

“Yeah whatever,” she mumbled under her breath and rolled her eyes, even though she knew he couldn’t see that through her sunglasses. “I gotta head out.”

She started walking away, bumping into his shoulder aggressively as she passed him, but she should have known it was never going to be that easy with Matt, because before she could take another step, he caught her elbow again, less gentle this time, and turned her around to face him.

“No, no, no, you’re not getting away so easy this time, babe,” he said, trying to make his voice sound friendly despite the grip on her arm. “It’s been a while since we had a nice chat you and I.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

“Oh, c’mon –“

She took off her sunglasses this time and looked him dead in the eyes as she spoke next. “I suggest taking your arm off unless you want me to rip it off of you myself.”

And just like that, Matt’s expression turned from fake friendly to a face Penelope knew he made when he was trying to seem dangerous, but ended up making her take him even less seriously. “You’ve been avoiding me for too long, Penelope. Now I hear all the school is talking about you being Hargrove’s new bitch.”

She couldn’t help but let out a humorless laugh at that. “I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around.”

“Is that really who you left me for? That scumbag who screwed his way through the entire high school? I thought you were better than that.” 

And that was when she decided she’d heard enough of it. She knew the drill with Matt, knew that one of these days she would have to break his nose in order to get him off of her, but she also understood that her first day working at the Hawkins Pool, surrounded by all those kids, was neither the time nor the place to do that. But she wasn’t going to shut up either. Not when people like him thought they had a say in whatever she wanted to do with her life. 

“Now listen to me, you little dipshit,” she moved in closer, dropping her voice and putting a hand on the arm he used to hold a grip on her. “I don’t wanna make a scene on my first day on the job, but I will if I have to. What I do, or who I do it with is no longer any of your business. So back. The hell. Off.”

She pushed his hand away finally with an abrupt gesture, making sure to let her eyes show how much she meant every word. But she should have known it was never going to be an easy business.

“I don’t think so, babe –“

And just as she was about to interrupt him and cause the so promised scene, damning all the consequences to hell, another voice came from behind and cut Matt off.

“She told you to leave her alone. Are you deaf, or do you want to hear me say it too?”

And it seemed like whatever small piece of mercy the universe had left her with today was gone now too, because coming to a stop right next to her and shooting daggers in Matt’s direction was Billy.

Penelope had expected him to spot her and show up sooner or later, but she had been so caught up in this fight with Matt that she’d completely forgotten that another one of her problems could show up and get right into the fray. She supposed this was what happened when you just swept things under the rug, hoping they won’t bother you again.

She turned towards Billy, feeling like this was starting to look like some sort of movie scene, where two guys would get into an argument stinking of fragile masculinity over a girl whose opinion no one bothered to ask for, but decided against letting it escalate further.

“Billy –“she started, and just like in the previously referenced movie scene, no one let her finish her sentence.

“Well,” Matt interrupted, his voice full of passive-aggressiveness. “If it isn’t the man of the hour. Billy Hargrove.” 

Penelope rolled her eyes so hard, it felt like she was going to pop them out of her head. And if anyone would have given a damn enough to listen to her, she would have laughed at Matt’s attempt to seem tough. In fact, knowing exactly the kind of temper Billy had through rumors and through some live examples, she would have advised her ex boyfriend to take his chances while he could still walk out of here without a broken nose or worse.

Not like she would have minded that much seeing him get what he deserved.

Billy crossed his hands against his chest, looking completely unbothered despite the fact that Penelope knew Matt was one wrong sentence away from getting his ass kicked. “Is there a reason you’re bothering my girl, Matty? Because we can settle the matter right here right now.” 

My girl.

He had to be freaking kidding her.

Matt took a step closer, in another attempt at showing bravado, and practically growled the next words, “She’s not your girl.” 

And that was it for Penelope. 

“Un.fucking.believable,” she spoke louder this time, pushing Matt away from Billy and coming to stand between them. “I’m not gonna sit here and watch you two princesses have a pissing contest,” she looked between the two of them, giving the last pointed look to Billy, before going past him and bumping his shoulder on her way. “Go fuck yourselves, both of you.”

She didn’t look back as she said the last words, sure that if she was going to stay there and listen to them bicker over who was whose, she would either throw one of them in the pool, or knee the other one between his legs, and she was positive both of those things would have gotten her fired. But her jaw was so clenched it felt like she was about to strain a muscle. 

What right did any of them think they had over her? She had gotten used to Matt and his stalker behavior, and how he would pop up now and then like an unwanted thought. Matt she could handle. But Billy? She hadn’t seen that one coming. 

Her first thought after hooking up with Billy, apart from admitting it had really been a memorable night, it was that it had been a mistake she didn’t particularly want to repeat anytime soon. She had been angry and sad and vulnerable, and lonely most of all because of her parents, and she had let that cloud her judgment for a few hours. She hadn’t thought that spending the night with Billy would mean anything, considering that everyone in high school believed they’d already hooked up, and none of their opinions would matter in two months when she would be gone. But she hadn’t foreseen this. Billy Hargrove being jealous. Billy Hargrove calling her his girl, even if just to annoy Matt. Billy Hargrove being like that stubborn stain on a shirt you couldn’t make disappear no matter how hard you scrubbed.

Why was it so hard for any of the men in her life to realize that she was no one’s?

She reached the changing room at a fast pace, slamming the locker door shut as she grabbed her oversized red shirt and pulled it over her swimsuit. How was she supposed to spend another five hours here at the main desk, when Billy would be outside just a few feet away from her? How was she supposed to concentrate, when her nostrils were flaring just thinking about what had just happened?

She turned around, ready to go outside and catch a short smoking break, given how badly she needed one, when she saw Billy leaning against the door, looking at her.

Oh, she was just done with today.

She opened her mouth to either curse or yell at him, or just to tell him to get out of her way, when he spoke first.

His voice was harsh, as if he was meant to be the angry one here. “You can’t seriously be mad about what just happened.”

Penelope let out an incredulous scoff, ready for the second wave of anger to kick in. “I can be whatever the hell I want to be, Hargrove.”

“The guy is a dick!” Billy yelled, clearly not caring about whoever would happen to be in earshot. “You told him yourself to back off and he didn’t listen. And it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve helped you get rid of him. Get a fucking restraining order already if you don’t want me in the middle of it.”

She stopped for a second, trying to get a hold of herself and failing. She wanted to ask what he was doing here, and what had happened with Matt, and why he would even care if she was mad or not. But she did neither of those things.

She took a step closer to him, letting her exasperation show.

“I handled him just fine until now without you,” she saw him roll his eyes at that, and couldn’t stop herself from continuing. “And don’t act like that was about you helping me out. You’re just two full of themselves dudes who act like this is a movie and you have to flash your big dicks and testosterone so you can fight over me like I’m some piece of meat.” 

Billy shook his head and muttered under his breath. “Save me the stupid feminist speech.”

Penelope paused again, thinking about how this was just so typical of any privileged guy she’d run into, to believe that being borderline possessive was a masculine thing to be, and women had to woo over it instead of getting angry. But he was right there with one part. She was not going to bother with a speech she could never get a guy like him to understand.

She let out a long sigh, running a hand through her hair. “God, and what the hell are you even doing working here?”

“I can ask the same thing,” he retorted. “So what now, Lopes? We can’t even work in the same place anymore without you going out of your way to avoid me?”

“Of course I’m avoiding you,” she answered without hesitating, and threw her hands up in exasperation. “I mean look, seconds into seeing you again and you throw a jealousy fit.”

Billy rolled his eyes a second time now. “It wasn’t a jealousy fit. Jesus, Penelope. But you’re on company time, and that asshole was bothering you. I was just –“

“You were just what? Being nice? Excuse me if nice isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe you, Hargrove.” 

“I’m not fucking jealous,” he repeated, looking like he’d rather walk out right now than have this conversation. Good, Penelope thought. She wanted him to be as done with her as she felt with him right about now. “I don’t give a shit who you do or don’t do it with. Get that in your head already.”

Penelope simply blinked at that, taking a few seconds to process. It was one thing to act jealous in front of Matt and her and everyone else who wanted a front row ticket to the show for that matter. But to not even have the guts to admit it was another deal. She’d been wrong to ever get herself tangled with someone like Billy, she gave herself the final verdict as she nodded once and took another step closer.

“Good. You better remember you said that,” she said in a low voice, unwilling to let him get the best of her temper anymore. “And we’re both on company time. So get to work and stop bothering me.”

She slipped past him again without a second glance, and walked faster towards the main desk, thinking that if this was only happening in the first day of working on the same job with Billy Hargrove, she didn’t want to see what the rest of her summer would look like from now.

***

~Soundtrack: Sam Smith, Normani – Dancing with a stranger~

The shift that Billy had to return to after his fight with Penelope must have felt like the longest five hours of his life. He just sat there, not really paying attention to what he was supposed to do, and counted the minutes until he would be able to get out of there. Because right now, being in the same space as Penelope, even if she was just working at the front desk, felt suffocating. 

Of course I’m avoiding you.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had fought with someone like that who wasn’t Max or his father. Frankly, he’d never even bothered to get into screaming arguments with chicks because it was all just a waste of time, and he thought no girl was worth the trouble, especially after he’d already gotten the sex he wanted out of them. But even after she’d rocked his world, Penelope kept on messing with his head too, like he was still her plaything. Maybe it should not have surprised Billy by now.

But even as he knew all he did about what he should or shouldn’t do, Billy still couldn’t help those words she’d spat from getting the best of him. If he thought a vein was about to pop out of his head after seeing douche Matt still bothering her, when she’d flat out admitted she didn’t want to be anywhere around him and then decided to call him out on his bullshit, then it was as if all the anger had come surfacing back at once. 

Excuse me if nice isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe you, Hargrove.

And she’d been right. Billy Hargrove wasn’t nice. He was a mean son of a bitch, that’s what he was, and he sure as hell wasn’t one to get upset over a girl who didn’t give him the attention he wanted. Even if that girl was Penelope Skye. 

He didn’t know why he let this bother him so much. He was everything Penelope thought him to be, and the only mistake he’d done after sleeping with her had been not to turn his back first. But he was ready to turn it now. After all, there was nothing less disturbing than the fact that he’d called Penelope his girl in front of Matt, when she wasn’t, when he didn’t want her to be, or that he’d let himself get jealous after he’d already gotten everything he’d wanted out of her. He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t anything for Penelope. 

Good. You better remember you said that.

But one thing Billy knew for certain. He needed to get Penelope Skye off his mind for tonight. And he needed alcohol for that. So the first thing he did five hours later after he finished his shift was go home, get back into his normal clothes, and head straight to the party that Tommy H. had told him about yesterday.

He didn’t know much about the party, just that the guy who hosted it was some college dude named Ashton, and that they had enough alcohol to get him blasted for tonight. So, he picked up Tommy and a few of his friends on his way there, and walked into what he hoped was the night that would make him forget all about the nagging headache Penelope was starting to give him.

He needed to forget that husky voice of hers, or those impossibly perfect long legs and that body she had, and the memory of it rocking back and forth on top of him all night long. He needed to forget every curve of her shape he’d memorized, every sensible spot he’d found on her skin, every way he still thought about how she tasted. He needed to forget everything about Penelope that drove him crazy, including both the good and the bad parts.

So, as soon as Billy arrived there and lost himself in the deafening music and in the three shots of liquor Tommy had poured him to get ready for the keg stand he was about to do, he figured there was only one way to make her go away. And that was to start looking for someone who could put whatever Penelope had to shame. 

One advantage there was to this Ashton’s party was how many college chicks he’d invited, because the whole room was roaming with them, and Billy found it the easiest thing to look for a good enough looking one. After drowning those shots and doing the keg stand, and all those cigarettes he’d burnt through, he felt himself lost in the alcohol already, which was why he didn’t really pay attention to the first girl who clung to his arm.

She was a redhead, he noticed. Full lips, an even fuller bra, pretty enough, but it dawned on Billy that there was nothing particularly outstanding about her. Still, he didn’t want to think about that. She was here and she wanted him, and it didn’t matter that she didn’t know to tease him the right way, or mess with him or smoke like a chimney but still smell like mint and citruses. It didn’t matter that her eyes weren’t sky blue. All that mattered was that she would have to do.

So, he let himself not care. He did shots off her body, he let her drag him into a drunken dance, he let her whisper in his ear all she wanted him to do to her. He let himself prove Penelope right in thinking nice wasn’t a word that described him at all.

He was now in the middle of the room with her, with everyone dancing around them, either drunk or on their way to that, and she was tracing her fingers under his jacket and onto his naked chest, so without thinking about it, Billy acted. He grabbed her head and pulled slightly at her hair, crashing their lips together. And there was nothing electric about it. It felt messy and raw, and he could taste her vanilla lipstick, but that, combined with the alcohol was enough to shut his mind down. He kissed her in the middle of that drunk, dancing crowd, and forgot what he was supposed to forget about while his hands moved all over the girl’s body, whose name he couldn’t remember.

But then, when the kiss broke and he took his eyes off the girl, Billy remembered.

***

Penelope hadn’t planned on going out tonight, quite the opposite in fact. She’d been set on cutting tonight short after work so that she wouldn’t have the same problem with a hangover at work the day after, but it was an understatement to say that there had been a slight change in her plans.

There was one thing Penelope did best after someone pissed her off, and that was something impulsive. The fight with Billy had left her so infuriated with the entire situation, that she knew this was a problem only alcohol could drown. Throughout the rest of the shift, she’d shaken her leg under the table thinking about everything, about the nerve Billy would have to have to show up like that and get his nose in something that was none of his business. She was a free woman, and maybe Matt had pissed her off and she’d tried to get rid of him, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have anyone else she wanted. In fact, she’d thought as she was leaving work and going home to change, maybe somebody new was exactly what Penelope needed. A complete stranger.

So, she put on some of her best clothes, bought a new pack of cigarette and went to the only party in town she knew about, at some guy named Ashton. She got there, feeling the music blasting all the way through her veins, and eyed the first arm candy she could spot. He was tall, with short hair and piercing green eyes, and she could practically trace his muscles through the tight shirt he wore. He was perfect.

Getting his attention was easy enough after that. She made him grab a couple of drinks after some small talk, not bothering to hide how this was just hunting for sports to her. By the third beer, she had the guy hooked. And by the fifth, she was tipsy enough to want to dance. 

She dragged the nameless guy on the dance floor, where everybody was just as drunk as she was about to be, and hooked her arms around his neck, swaying her body to the hypnotic music playing. He let his hands rest on her hips, feeling how she moved, and danced like that for a while until her back ended up turned to him and her arm hooked around the back of his neck, while he was tracing kisses from her ear to her pulse point. 

She closed her eyes, thinking this was what she needed. To prove Billy and everybody else that she was no one’s, that she was free to do whatever, even if that meant being pushed into someone else’s drunk arms out of pettiness. But she wanted to forget Billy so badly, to forget all the ways he was still sticking around, all the ways he could still make her angry, all the ways she could not get rid of him.

But she was getting rid of him now, she thought as she still danced against the guy. She let her head fall back, enjoying the moment and the alcohol in her system, and realized that this was as far away from Billy Hargrove as she needed to be.

She opened her eyes, ready to turn around to face the guy and bring their lips together, so she could get lost even more. But as soon as she did that, she regretted it immediately.

Because in front of her stood Billy. And he was kissing another girl.

And just like that, everything froze. She couldn’t hear the music all around her anymore, couldn’t feel the lips on her neck or the hands on her waist pushing her against a meaningless body, couldn’t even see that there were other people around them. All she could see was them. 

His hands were bringing her body closer, and her hair was red and wavy and beautiful, just as the rest of her body seemed to be. And the kiss was hungry and needy and sloppy, and Penelope could not believe it. He was kissing someone else while her knuckles were clenched by her side. 

If Penelope had been sober enough to think, she would’ve realized it was unreasonable to feel like this was the worst shock she could have gotten tonight, because it was exactly what she’d gotten angry at him for doing just hours before. He’d been irrationally angry on Matt, without any logical reason either, and now here she was, unable to tear her eyes off that kiss while her blood was boiling in her veins. 

What was wrong with her?

Their kissed stopped and when Billy pulled back and lifted his eyes, it was like they involuntarily found hers. And Penelope recognized the look on his face and the way his body seemed to freeze too at the sight of her, because she was sure she looked just the same. So for a few seconds, all Billy and Penelope could do was stare at each other, as the other person in their arms was unaware of the realization that was hitting both of them.

She was jealous. She’d seen Billy kiss another girl right in front of her, after her big, pompous speech about how he had no right to be jealous, and now she was the biggest hypocrite of them all, just because she wanted to rip that redhead off his body. And there was no sense behind what she was feeling right now.

All of a sudden, the air around felt suffocating. The music felt too much, the stranger kissing her neck too nauseating and Billy’s eyes too hard to look into anymore. So she turned around and mumbled something to the guy about how she wanted to get out of here alone, before pushing his hands away and heading straight for the door. 

She slammed the door behind her and walked down the stairs and across the lawn, running her hands through her hair and letting out a long sigh. There was definitely something wrong with her, she declared as soon as the fresh hair hit her face and sobered her up just enough. There must have been, otherwise she couldn’t explain the pit in her stomach she was feeling. 

Why did she think her toys had no right of finding someone else to play with after she’d tossed them? Why did she want to be selfish while also wanting no one else to tell her what to do? And why was Billy Hargrove still one of her problems? God, she had to put her thoughts together.

~Soundtrack: Harry Styles – Adore you~

She sighed one more time, leaning against the first car she found, and looked up at the summer sky. The neighborhood was silent, except for the muffled music coming from inside, and the air was hot enough to make Penelope feel like there was still something suffocating her. But the sky above her head was full of stars and a crescent moon, so at least there were some benefits to a clear summer.

The front door opened all of a sudden, interrupting her thoughts, and Penelope didn’t want to look to see whose footsteps she could hear coming down the front stairs, because she wasn’t ready to face what she knew was expecting her if she lifted her eyes. After all, it was almost getting like a vicious circle by now, how she would look up and he would be there. She wondered for a second how much of that was her fault.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”

Penelope still didn’t look at Billy as he spoke. She couldn’t figure out how he’d meant for that to sound. Accusatory? Apologetic?

She didn’t bother finding an answer before she replied. “Yeah, me either.”

And she knew she meant for that to sound like getting rid of him was like trying to find a way out of a labyrinth. Difficult and making her feel scared of what would wait for her at the end.

She finally let their eyes meet and saw he was standing a few feet away, keeping his distance. She must have really done a number on him to make someone like Billy Hargrove keep his distance. And he looked different, too. Upset and drunk and like he wanted to ask questions she didn’t want to answer.

“Why did you leave, Lopes?” he broke their staring contest after a few seconds, voicing exactly the kind of questions she was worried he would demand answers to. She was too drunk for this. 

And that was why she gave an unusual reply. “Why did you come after me?” she couldn’t find a way to make that sound less bitter. “It looked like you were having fun.”

“Yeah, it looked like we both were.”

She should have not answered that. She should have turned her back and walked away and let him think that whatever he chose to do in his free time was meaningless to her. But alcohol always had a way of loosening her tongue when saying what she thought was a dangerous thing. 

“What would you have had me do? Put on a show like you were doing for everyone else to see?” 

And there it was. The bottled up resentment, scratching the surface.

Billy took a few steps forward, lessening the distance between them, but still not enough to enter each other’s space. Penelope finally noticed that he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath his leather jacket, which made her breath catch a little at the sight of his chest again, creating a flash in her mind of all the ways she’d touched him that night.

No. She wasn’t supposed to think about that. She had to focus.

“And was that bothering you?” his eyes flashed with something Penelope couldn’t place as he asked another risky question, like he was itching for her to say yes, to say that it had bothered her. To say the truth. 

But there were several reasons why she wouldn’t, her pride being the main one. So, she let out a sarcastic scoff. “I don’t care what you do, Hargrove. It’s none of my business.” 

“Funny, because when I said that today, you didn’t believe me.”

The blow hit Penelope unexpectedly. It was true, he had said he didn’t care what she did or who she did it with today after his jealousy fit, and she had seen right through it just as he was seeing her lies now. So why the hell was she having this conversation with him instead of walking away?

“That was different,” she said quietly under her breath and looked down at the ground, like a child who still kept on lying after being caught. 

“You’re right,” Billy surprised her by admitting, just as quietly as her, making her lift her eyes again and look at the serious expression on his face. “Because I was lying. Because it did bother me to see you with Matt. Just like it bothered me to see you with whoever that was now.” 

Penelope was sure that she couldn’t hide the surprised look on her face by now. She gulped once and looked into his eyes as he took a step closer, closer than she would have like but still not close enough. 

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m drunk and tired of your stupid games. You say you don’t wanna see me again but then you show up here with another dude and you storm out when you see I’m with someone else, too, like you’re jealous.”

“I’m not –“

“Jesus, Lopes,” he interrupted her abruptly, voice louder as he spoke now. “Aren’t you tired of just running away like that? Be honest for just one fucking minute.”

Penelope didn’t know what that truth he was asking out of her was. She didn’t know why any of this had bothered her, why she was still thinking about their night together, why he was the only toy of hers she had not put aside for good and forgot about, but instead let him stay in front of her like that, pushing every boundary she had set for herself a long time ago. Why could he just not shut up and comply like the rest of the guys before? Why did he have to be so infuriating? Why was Billy Hargrove the only one who not only wouldn’t back away at the craziness she brought along, but demanded to follow suit too? 

Eventually, she swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke. “What do you want me to say, Billy?”

He took a step closer, finally getting close enough that there were only a handful of inches separating their bodies. She could smell him again, enough to make those memories in her head flash faster before her eyes of that night, when he’d been exactly what she’d needed. She remembered his mouth on every single place that she wanted him to touch, his hands running down her bare back, his annoyingly soft and curly hair. 

Involuntarily, her eyes flew to his lips when he answered her forgotten question. 

“Admit we had a great time, Penelope,” he spoke softly, and his hands found hers reluctantly, merely touching their fingertips together, just as the music inside changed and turned from loud and obnoxious to something slower and magnetic, almost as if on cue. And it was as if just like that, she got swept in a haze. “Admit you still think about that night, just like I do.”

His hands went on their path and brushed the back of her hand gently, then continued up her arm in a touch so soft that it almost made Penelope wonder if this was really Billy who was touching her. She looked up from his lips to his eyes and grew sure of the fact that there would never be a time where their ocean blueness wouldn’t make her want to dive right in, get lost and drown. 

“Admit you don’t want to see me with someone else, just like I admit I want to kill every son of a bitch that thinks about touching you.”

His hands reached her shoulders now, and there were no traces of uncertainty in his eyes anymore, while she was practically swimming in doubts. But God, he was a fire she just wanted to walk through again and again just to feel the burning one more time.

“Admit you want me again.”

Finally, his fingertips brushed past her shoulder and up to her neck, sending shivers all over her back as his hand lastly cupped her face. Her eyes flew closed in spite of every warning signal inside her head, and he took that as a sign to move in closer.

After all, as his lips were just a second away from hers, she figured he wasn’t asking much. He wasn’t asking to dig under for the real reason they kept coming back to each other, he was only asking for what was obvious as it was. She wouldn’t have to say anything in return, just to let their bodies speak for each other again. He was only asking for one more night, nothing more and nothing else. 

So, without wanting to waste any more time thinking, Penelope closed the distance between them and brought their lips together, closing the door to any sense left in her that alcohol hadn’t drowned. She let her hands fly to the back of his neck without pulling at his hair or digging her nails there, but just letting her body melt into his, let it give into whatever he was offering. 

Billy rested his other hand on her waist and she arched her back into him while tasting the strawberry vodka on his lips, feeling as if whatever this was, it was not like any of the rest of their kisses. The others had felt like a surge of electricity going straight through her body, lightning up every forgotten sense, like it was just a way to burn out whatever temporary rush they thought they were chasing. But this…this felt like none of that.

This felt like more, like it wasn’t about in which bed they would end up, his or hers. Like they wanted to seek out whatever answers this confusion had brought along, like they wanted each other in ways they weren’t aware of yet. Like she wanted him to adore her with his lips. Like kissing any other guy at that party would never make her feel like this was the only thing she’d ever want to do instead. It felt like all of those things and more.

But above all, it felt dangerous. It felt new. It felt like so much more than she’d anticipated.

With the realization of what she was doing hitting her all at once, Penelope put a hand on his chest and pushed him back, struggling to catch her breath.

No, she told herself as she tried to put her thoughts back together. This wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want something new, something more or something that made her want Billy Hargrove to herself. She didn’t want to feel this confusion and didn’t want to hear her body’s protest at the lack of his warmth against hers, and above all, she didn’t want her heart to race like that in her chest. 

Not for him.

She finally looked up at his taken aback expression, and spoke the words she knew she should have said from the beginning. 

“No.”

His mouth opened to protest, to call her out on her bullshit most likely, but she interrupted him before he could get the chance.

“I’m drunk. We’re both drunk. And we’re both obviously stupid.” 

And she said those words while the taste of his lips was still fresh on her tongue, and while she was still trying to grab a hold of herself. She said those words completely convinced of the fact that they were the right thing to say, because neither of them wanted to lurk underneath whatever that kiss had woken up.

So, without waiting for his reply, Penelope pushed Billy’s body aside and moved past it, speaking over her shoulder as she walked away, “Just go home, Billy.” 

Because whatever it had woken up, it was no good. For either of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Okay so we officially have only one more chapter to go. Damn, this went by fast.  
So a couple of notes on this chapter. I got some feedback lately from someone saying the Billy I'm writing isn't exactly in character with the Billy in the show, simply because he's a little nicer in here. And I feel like clarifying that. He is LESS of an asshole, indeed, but that is simply because I'm not writing that side of him with Penelope. I feel like it was just like when he was flirting with Mrs Wheeler in the tv show, he was never rude or mean as we saw him with other characters, simply because he had no reason to be. I feel like that can apply to the Penelope situation too. Plus, I'm going along my theory that Billy had deeply rooted abandonment issues caused by his mother, and he associates that with what Penelope is trying to do to him, leaving without him having a say in it. I went with that and made it cause his infatuation with her, so I suppose that could cause a trigger in him that makes him act differently. After all, this is *SPOILER ALERT* the same Billy who died for El, a little girl who showed him affection for 5 seconds. So I don't know if it makes sense for either of you as it does for me. But anyway, I'm always open to feedback, and things I could have done or shouldn't have done. I'm all eyes!  
Anyway, with that being said, thank you so much for reading and commenting and sticking with the story. I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far! Y'all awesome. And sorry for the long ass note.


	7. You Pierced Me In Daggers Of Blue

CHAPTER 7 – YOU PIERCED ME IN DAGGERS OF BLUE

~Soundtrack: Noah Cyrus – July~

July came as fast as a thunder and passed as quick as a storm, and before the small town of Hawkins could know it, August was there bringing Indiana heat, boredom, dullness and at the same time, a promise of new beginnings. 

For Billy, the summer felt like it could not end soon enough. He spent most of his time working double shifts at the pool so he could raise the money he had planned on putting aside, and when he wasn’t, he was either out partying or looking out for Max whenever that shit bird felt like making him drive her somewhere. And it wasn’t like he had the choice of saying no. But even the parties felt duller now, and working felt irritating in every sense of the world, so whatever free time Billy had on his hands, he planned on using it to picture all the things he would do once he would be long gone from Hawkins and forgotten.

At first, it had all started as just a crazy idea, wondering to himself what it would be like if he just went back to California. His first thought was how badly he missed the waves, feeling them raise him up in the air on his surfboard or push him under all that refreshing, cold ocean saltiness. He missed that heat too, the humidity in the air, the hot sand on his toes, and he missed it so much that it almost made him forget that he was stuck in this dry, cow smelling, shithole of a town. And instead, it reminded him of something else. It reminded him of sunny days surfing until dawn. It reminded him of happier days, of the face of a smiling woman. It reminded him of seven feet.

So Billy put his plan together. He would go back to California, maybe even find a job there and never come back. He wasn’t much of a planning person, not when all he wanted to see clearly was himself back home, so he didn’t bother to put together the specifics. He just knew the endgame and that, if he wanted to go back home and leave Hawkins, even for just a visit, he would have to tell Neil.

Telling his dad wasn’t something Billy wanted to do. Quite the opposite in fact, if it would’ve been his choice, he would have gotten in his car, drove and never looked back. But Billy knew better, he knew it didn’t work like that. Neil would never just let him go without looking for him. He would hunt him down to wherever he would choose to go, and drag him back forcefully if he had to. He knew his father too well, knew that he wouldn’t let his son run away from him after his wife had too.

So, Billy thought it through. He would go to Neil, and tell him he’d raised money to go visit his mother back home. He would tell him he would stay a few days and then come back, and he would never even have to know he was gone. Billy repeated it in his head, telling himself it was a reasonable demand. There would be no reason for Neil to say no. Yet, even though he knew that, Billy couldn’t help but postpone the day he would have to go and tell his dad.

He waited a few days, until he had repeated the entire speech in his head enough times to make it sound harmless enough, until he decided today was going to be the day he would do it. He spent half of his shift going through everything he would say, and making sure he would say it in a way Neil would like. Even now, Billy knew exactly what his dad would say if he as much as wouldn’t like the tone of his voice.

Respect and responsibility

So Billy would make sure to fake just that.

When five o’clock came, Billy got up from the desk and took off his shirt, getting ready for the outside shift, and ready for the 30 seconds it would take from the main desk to the lifeguard chair. And in spite of the fact that he’d been doing it every day for the past couple of weeks now, it was still the hardest thing he had to go through every day. Because no matter what, at the end of that distance there was always Penelope.

It was a process that should have gotten old by now. He would open the door, start walking towards the lifeguard chair as she would climb down and start walking too, while every middle aged woman gawked at him or every high school girl tried to give a giggled hi, and while his eyes could do nothing but ignore everyone and stare at her. And she would come closer and so would he, and in the three seconds they met halfway, neither of them would say anything. They would just look at each other, unable to come up with anything good enough to say that would give any sense to this fuckery they were in.

After that party and their kiss in front of the house, Billy had decided to finally to stop chasing whatever trick Penelope wiggled on a string in front of him. He was a guy used to some rejections here and there, his ego was bruised enough as it was to not care enough about another bump, but even after he’d reached his limit with Penelope and still kept on going after her only to realize he’d been running in circles, all it had taken to get him to finally back off had been that “no”.

And yes, at first he’d wanted to protest, wanted to call her on her bullshit and say that she could not come to him and kiss him and then go back to being cold and mean, not when she was always setting a pace he could not keep up with. But after it had all registered, Billy had realized she had never said no to him, not really. It had always been a back and forth, a game she’d started and he’d gone along with, but never a blunt refusal. Never a no. Yet that night she’d said it. She’d said it at the most confusing of times, when everything he had ever fought to push back into denial had surfaced back up, and he’d admitted that, as unreasonable as it was, he wanted Penelope to himself, and that whatever they’d shared that night, he could not stop thinking about it.

No.

From then, how was he supposed to keep going after her? How was he supposed to find it in him to make a fool of himself again? He couldn’t. He couldn’t let her give him something just so she could take it away again. Because he’d heard an awful lot of things in his life, but that no had stung like few could. 

And even after his final decision to let Penelope chase her own tail for a change, seeing her everyday didn’t get any easier. Not even if it took only 30 seconds.

He walked towards her now, cursing himself for forgetting his sunglasses today because now it was finally showing how bluntly he could not stop staring at her. He heard someone say a few hi’s to him, yet none of it registered. Not when Penelope was walking towards him at a slow pace, looking like that swimsuit was some form of cruelty against him with how well it tightened around her body. Every day he saw it, and every day it felt like a major effort not to rip it off of her. 

No.

But she’d said no to whatever he was offering, hadn’t she?

And today out of all days, Penelope stared back. She got closer and closer enough for Billy to notice that her eyes were on him too, and Billy felt like he was on the verge of just losing it. He wanted to tell her she was the stupidest, most illogical thing he’d ever wanted that he couldn’t have. He wanted to tell her he still thought about her, in spite of his efforts to stop playing into her games. He wanted to tell her about his dad, about his plans for tonight, about how he just wanted to go back home. He wanted to tell someone. He wanted Penelope.

They finally met halfway, and in those three brief seconds, when her sky blue eyes pierced into his, taking him aback like he was still stuck in that stupid parking lot where he’d first seen her, only to have her walk by him without another word, Billy understood.

He understood how shit his life was. He understood that he’d wanted a lot of things he’d never gotten the chance to have, like a mother, a normal father, someone who understood, control, a relief of all his anger, Penelope. He should have been done feeling sorry for himself by now. And he should have understood that, wherever he was supposed to be, it was not Hawkins.

So, first thing tonight after the shift, he would tell his dad about going back to California, he would go through with his plan. And he would get the hell out of this place, once and for all.

***

~Soundtrack: The Neighborhood – Daddy issues~

Penelope was in bed when she heard the first scream.

She stopped the music coming from the stereo, wondering if maybe she hadn’t heard anything at all, when another yell came in response to the first one. She walked towards her window, peaking through the curtains and looking at the Hargrove house for any clue as to what was happening, but found the curtains drawn. She sighed, knowing what that meant.

She turned on the stereo again, trying to ignore the yelling in spite of how much she didn’t want to. It had been easier to ignore before, the occasional shouting sessions coming from the Hargrove house, especially since it hadn’t happened in a while, but now Penelope felt like she couldn’t. Not when she knew that Billy was in the middle of it, and that she’d been a victim of abusive parents for long enough to know what it meant. She didn’t want to ignore what Billy was going through. 

But what the hell was she supposed to do? Call the cops on his asshole dad? She knew all too well it never worked like that.

She looked out the window again and again, hoping to see something while gnawing at her bottom lip and hating how much she seemed to care, enough to wonder what the hell was going on. It was none of her business, it never had been and she’d never bothered to check or look out the window before, no matter how loud the screams got. But then again, a lot of things had changed between then and now. Billy was no longer just the messed up kid next door.

Ten minutes later, Penelope couldn’t hear the muffled voices over the loud music. She sat in her bed, facing the ceiling and wondering why the hell she hadn’t gone out tonight, when she could have been shitfaced instead of alone, wondering about Billy Hargrove’s shitty family. She sat like that for a few more minutes, when eventually the claustrophobia feeling kicked in and her hands itched for a cigarette. She told herself that was why she was going outside as she climbed down the stairs, not because of Billy and whatever was going on. No, she just needed fresh hair.

She closed the door behind her and stepped onto the front porch and the déjà vu feeling hit her hard. The summer air was just as sweltering, the neighborhood just as quiet, and Billy Hargrove was a few steps away from her, leaning on his blue Camaro. 

Penelope remembered with a lump in her throat that the last time she’d been put in this scenario had been on her graduation day, when she’d felt so alone she’d kissed him. Funny how many things had changed since then. Now Penelope felt a million different ways about Billy Hargrove, lacking an explanation for every one of them.

She felt like she didn’t know how to be around him anymore. Dealing with Billy had always been like a roulette, a hit or miss, and she couldn’t understand how it had all gone from casual fun to whatever this confusion was, with jealousy and want and this inexplicable desire to go to him right now. She wanted things to go back. She wanted them to stay the same. She wanted paradox after paradox, and because of it, she couldn’t be around him for more than a couple of seconds without feeling like it all too much to deal with.

But tonight was different. She remembered the screams, the crashing, the unusual way they had seemed to last longer than normal. And whatever had happened inside the Hargrove house, Penelope was staring at the aftermath of it.

Billy’s clothes were ruffled, his hair a mess and his posture leaning against the car looked defeated. But those were none of the things that caught Penelope’s attention first. What did was the violet circle forming around his eye and the broken lip where a little blood was still coming out of.

Jesus.

She knew it must have been bad considering all those loud noises, but she wouldn’t have thought it had gone that far. And then it was like everything she knew about Billy was coming in focus through new lenses, all of his fights at parties and his alpha attitude where he wanted to tower over everyone, it all made sense. It was all just a way to make sure the things that happened at home wouldn’t happen anywhere else, that no one could have any sort of power over him, and a way to pour out all of that anger he had to hold in with every beating.

She sighed once, looking at that image of a defeated Billy and contemplated her choices. She could go back inside, pretend she’d never seen anything, especially since she must have been the last person Billy wanted to see. But she didn’t want to do that, not when tonight every issue they had with each other felt so insignificant.

Penelope climbed down the stairs at a careful pace, looking at him and hoping she would see something in his eyes that would make her either turn around and go back or walk towards him with more confidence, but Billy kept his eyes glued to the ground the entire time, making Penelope wonder if this might have been stupider than when she’d kissed him in this exact same spot.

She reached the Camaro and stopped, leaning next to him against the car, and Billy kept on not acknowledging her presence. She didn’t know where to start.

“Hey,” she said eventually after a few silent moments, and took out her pack of cigarettes out of her jeans, grabbing one and offering him another.

“Hey,” he took the cigarette and put it between his lips, lightning it. “Thanks.”

She couldn’t read his tone, couldn’t figure out if he wanted her there with him or dead in a ditch right now, and couldn’t remember the last time she’d cared enough to interpret someone’s tone. She took a long drag out of her cigarette and rested her head on the hood of the car, looking up at the clear night sky full of stars. 

Too many minutes were passing without them talking.

“I’m not good with awkward silences,” she eventually offered, going for the truth.

“Yeah well, you’re the one that came here.”

Penelope let out a huff. She couldn’t really argue with that, nor could she understand now what the hell had been going on in her head. “You looked like you really needed a cigarette,” she took another drag and puffed out a smoke. “And maybe I don’t want to be alone right now.”

A few more moments passed before Billy answered. “Then what do you want?”

That was indeed the hundred dollar question, Penelope thought. And maybe if she knew the real answer to that, she wouldn’t be on the hood of a guy ‘s car she hooked up with once, wondering why she was making a fool out of herself by going out on a limp and assuming she wasn’t making Billy’s night worse. Maybe she really was. 

She looked sideways at him finally, at the mess he was, the kind of mess she suspected he never was or liked to be in any case, and found her answer.

“To put a pause on whatever the hell has been going on with us and talk about anything else,” she said.

And it was true, too. As simple and easy and unlike every confusing thing they’d ever done was, that was really it. All she wanted was one honest moment between her and someone else, where she wouldn’t hide behind mind games and indifference, and he wouldn’t hide behind bravado and a badass attitude. What a silly thing to end up wanting, Penelope thought.

Billy didn’t turn his head to look at her, and she knew he was still perhaps hoping she hadn’t seen his bruised eye. But she could see the corner of his mouth slightly turning upwards, just barely enough for her to catch or miss.

“Like what?” he asked finally, and Penelope had to bite her tongue against telling him this wasn’t some ask and answer game going around. Now she felt stupid again, like she’d suggested talking about something and then found there was barely anything interesting left to them behind all that angst.

Penelope let out another smoke, and blurted out the first awkward thing that came to mind. “Summer is over soon.”

Fucking hell. What was next, weather talk?

But whatever awkwardness she emanated didn’t seem to catch up to Billy, because he let out a small laugh this time that had Penelope staring for a second. “Yeah, can you believe we won’t have to work that shit job 10 hours every day anymore?”

Maybe she needed a therapist. Because there must have definitely been something wrong with her to go through these swings of playing with Billy and ignoring Billy and sleeping with him and then pushing him away only to be alone with him in front of their houses at midnight on a summer day, staring at his smile and letting it grow contagious on her own lips. 

“It’s not always bad,” she said, still looking at him.

~Soundtrack: Taylor Swift- The Archer~

Another few second passed without any of them saying anything, before it came his turn to cut the silence with a random thing. “Where are you going next?”

The question took Penelope so aback that she let out a raw laugh. “Fuck knows,” she lifted her shoulders and took another drag out of her half gone cigarette before continuing. “Anywhere to be honest. I was thinking Chicago for a while there, but now I feel like that’s not far enough,” she stopped for a few seconds, wondering if she should go on with whatever she was thinking or drop it and let him think that was it. But there was something about tonight. There was something about seeing Billy vulnerable like this that had her involuntarily telling the unfiltered truth. 

“I don’t know, maybe it’s crazy, but I want more, you know? And I know every kid our age wants more from life than Hawkins, more than mediocrity, but I want more than just more. I want to be on my own, and I want fun, I want adventure and madness and to feel like I’m alive and not rotting away in some forgotten place where everything interesting happens outside the border of this fucking city,” she paused to catch her breath, realizing how frenetic she sounded, but unable to pull the plug on it now. “I’m wasting away the best years of my life feeling sorry for myself because I am stuck someplace of my own free will. And I wasted even more years thinking that getting even just a few miles out of here will do it, when I should be reaching for the goddamn galaxies, not the stars. But fuck that. I don’t wanna be stuck. I don’t want roots. I want an escape and enough gasoline for it.”

She stopped now, not looking at Billy for a reaction, but taking in what she said as if she was listening to her own voice on a recorder. It sounded sad, if she had to be honest, and she’d always hated sounding sad, but then again it sounded like the first real thing she’d said in a while. 

“California.” Billy said all of a sudden, stopping her train of thought and making her rewind the last thing she’d said for any sign of a connection.

“What?” 

“California is the place for that, all you just said about freedom and adventure and all that crap,” he went on explaining. “You’re never going to feel more alive than when you’re near the ocean, and there’s wind in your hair and sand on your feet and…” 

He stopped, staring ahead with a look in his eyes Penelope couldn’t place, as if he’d caught himself on a bad thought.

“And what?”

“And seven feet waves,” he whispered barely loud enough for her to hear, but she did, and knew that was something said for him, not for her to understand.

“It does seem like the perfect place for an escape,” she offered instead, and when he just nodded solemnly and glued his eyes to the ground, Penelope went on. “You sound like you were happy there.”

“I was.”

“Then go back.”

Billy gave a humorless laugh, like she hadn’t just told him the simplest solution to his problem. “I have roots too, Lopes. I just can’t cut mine off.”

And she knew what he meant by that. She knew he felt like he was stuck here, unable to get out, stuck in what was a toxic environment and like most people in his situation, he couldn’t see that there was always a door out away from all the abuse. He couldn’t see that sometimes, it really was as simple as leaving.

So for some reason Penelope couldn’t explain, she couldn’t hold her tongue anymore. 

“You shouldn’t let him do that to you, Billy,” she threw her cigarette on the ground as she spoke, more confident than she should have been about the situation, and turned to face him this time.

She couldn’t sit here and pretend everything was normal and like she wasn’t noticing his busted lip and black eye. She couldn’t let him believe she’d heard all of it and then saw him, but didn’t do anything about it, not even as much as a word. And quite frankly, she felt angry too. Especially with parents like hers and Billy’s who thought messing up their kids’ lives was justified in their sick minds.

Billy turned now to look at her too, confusion written all over his face. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I said you shouldn’t let your dad do that to you,” she repeated, and went on at the sight of his parted lips and furrow between his brows. “Yeah, I know. The whole neighborhood knows every time he yells at you and pushes you around loud for everyone to hear. I mean, are we not going to talk about this?” she gestured with her hand at his black eye. “Are you really letting everyone see how that piece of shit you call a father does whatever he wants with you, while you’re out here feeling sorry for yourself?” 

Billy took a step closer, his voice lowering in the way she supposed only the people daring to piss off Billy Hargrove heard. “You better shut up while you still can, Penelope.”

“Or what?” she also took a step closer, practically face to face with him now. “You’ll show me that side of you? Don’t think I haven’t heard about the bad side of Billy Hargrove, how you beat up people if they look wrong at you, or how you treat your sister Max,” she took a deep breath before continuing, voice louder this time. “Are you trying to turn into him, Billy, is that it? Or can’t you see that the more you misplace your anger on others instead of standing up for yourself in front of him, the more you just become the bad guy of everyone else’s story?”

And it was like an out of body experience, really. She could hear herself talking, see herself looking up at him with defiance written in her eyes, but couldn’t stop the words from just pouring out. It was like being unable to pull the brakes on a car accident that was already happening.

Billy shook his head in disbelief, staring at her for what seemed like forever before replying. “How the fuck is any of this your business, anyway?”

It wasn’t. She had no right to say any of that. But she couldn’t see that right then, all she could see was the unfairness of it all.

She lifted her arms and dropped them back at her side. “It’s not,” she admitted. “But I can’t sit here and watch you feel sorry for yourself. Not when I can tell you that you should do something about it. Cut your own fucking roots for a change.”

“I got this because I was trying to cut off my roots, Penelope,” he yelled abruptly and gestured at his face, almost making Penelope want to take a step back. “I as much as mentioned going back to California, and he flipped like I was telling him I wanna fuck his whore of a new wife.”

“Then run off!” Penelope spat back exasperatedly.” Don’t tell anyone, don’t tell him, don’t tell the whore wife. Just go.”

Billy scoffed, looking at her again in a way that made Penelope want to turn around and forget everything she had just said. “What the fuck do you know?”

She sighed heavily.

“More than you think,” Penelope whispered quietly into the night, dropping her eyes to the ground now.

And maybe that was really it, her entire frustration with Billy’s situation was a way to relate to her own crappy condition, to her own share of unfairness coming from the people who were supposed to be the only ones whose responsibility was to take care of her. Why couldn’t Billy see that she wasn’t saying any of this to be mean, but to help him?

“Right,” Billy spat, startling Penelope out of her thoughts.” Because Princess Penelope sure had a tough life, too. What happened, did someone crash your tea party? Was graduating too hard, did you get B’s instead of straight A’s and now you wanna pout and crash in my car again? Grow the fuck up, Penelope. Not everyone has it as easy as you do.”

Now it was her turn to part her lips and frown in confusion. 

“Easy?” she retorted, feeling that frustration turn into anger now.” You don’t know jack shit about my life enough to even say half of the things you just did.”

“And you know about mine?”

“I know you got a black eye, that’s what I fucking know. And I know you don’t mean any of that, this is just some way for you to take out your anger until you can go again and beat someone else into a coma.”

“What do you know about what it’s like? You have a little fight with your folks and you run away like a little girl and sleep in someone else’s car, but you come here and try to preach me about facing my problems. Cry me a fucking river.”

She blinked once. Twice. Her cheeks were burning with barely contained anger, because frankly, she was sure she must have heard wrong.

“I didn’t run away, Billy,” Penelope said after a long pause where she considered and reconsidered her next words. “My parents kicked me out. I didn’t just decide one night my own bed isn’t comfortable enough to sleep in. They kicked me out of the house and told me to figure out my own shit, because they won’t give me a roof over my head until I learn some respect. They never miss a chance to tell me how much of a failure I am, and they sure as hell don’t care enough if I get any fucking passing grade, because they couldn’t even bother to show up at my graduation,” she paused, pointing a finger at him. “But at least I stand up for myself. And I would never accuse someone of having it easier than me. Not when I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.”

Her eyes were stinging. Funny, Penelope thought. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt that burning in her eyes. But it was like she’d build this whole brick wall around that resentment, solidified it with cement, turned her back on it and didn’t realize that when truth would come crashing it down, it would crush everything. The bigger the walls were, the harder they fell. 

And it looked like Billy wasn’t done tearing hers apart.

“Why the fuck did you come here then? To yell at me and then pour out your sob drama? Maybe you should’ve just stuck to fucking me, Penelope. Clearly that’s the only thing that worked out between us.”

And maybe that was the truest sentence any of them had said tonight.

Penelope took a deep breath, feeling the energy being drained out with every angry word she said, and looking at this whole mess now unable to tell whose fault it was by this point. 

“Yeah,” she said eventually, looking at the darkened ocean in his eyes. “Clearly.”

And with that, Penelope turned around and left Billy behind, feeling like whatever had just happened, there was no undoing it.

***

~Soundtrack: Harry Styles – Fine Line~

Days came and days passed for Penelope. The summer started fading away little by little each day, barely enough to register for someone who wasn’t counting the days on the calendar like she was, and the pool became less crowded and less noisy and less difficult for her to handle. Her parents were gone most days, and when they weren’t they didn’t bother to check on her, so it was easy for Penelope to come to terms with the fact that she was leaving in a month. Nothing stopped her, least of all remorse. 

Yet, it felt like nothing grew easier. It was hard to deal with things you’ve been dealing with for the past 18 years if you knew you were moments away from reaching the escape door. She supposed that was how prisoners felt too in a way, becoming suddenly claustrophobic in their own cells when they knew they were going to be out soon. But she couldn’t help it. Her room felt like it was closing in, the heated air unbreathable, the people she came in contact with marginally more annoying than they’d been in the past. Even hanging out at parties felt like something she couldn’t do anymore. Her clock was simply not thinking fast enough.

Or so she liked to think those were most of her problems. But then again, there was Billy Hargrove.

It must have been five days since that fight. Five days. Five days in which Penelope’s remorse had learned to appear and disappear, to ferment in her own skin and then justify itself over and over again. She must have played that night on repeat in her head to the point of driving herself mad, just because it didn’t feel right, this whole situation.

There was no other way of putting it. She felt guilty. 

She remembered what it had felt like to have that fight with him, to know that every word that was coming out of her mouth was the wrong thing to say and the jerkiest way to deal with Billy’s situation, but unable to stop herself. There had been no time to breathe between mean remarks and spiteful words, but now that she was away from the smoke and seeing it so clear, she felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.

There were two ways that situation could have gone better from the moment she’d stepped onto the front porch and seen Billy, Penelope had come to that conclusion. One, she could have realized there was nothing she could have said to make it better and gone back inside, letting him deal with the consequences of a shitty night on his own. And two, she could have gone there, tried to distract him from it or told him she understood, or maybe she didn’t but she was there to. But instead, what Penelope had done had been to go there in spite of knowing that damaged people couldn’t comfort damaged people, and spat in his face all the ways he was dealing wrong with his own problems. 

What had she been thinking? What had made her think that she had any sort of right to meddle into an issue the person clearly didn’t want to talk about? Why did she think bringing her own mess into the whole puddle of crap had been a good idea?

She hadn’t been thinking, that was the answer to all three of those questions. 

Remorse wasn’t something Penelope knew how to deal with well. Frankly, she rarely even dealt with it. It was always people mistreating her, always her parents abusing her, and she was always the victim. Now? She was a fucking wrecking ball.

So how was she supposed to apologize to Billy? She wanted to, she ached to, just so she could take the blame off her shoulders and walk a little lighter, or wash it off her skin and watch it go down the drain. But she was doing anything but apologizing. In fact, she took as many steps away from an apology as possible. For those five days, she didn’t allow herself those 10 seconds at work when they’d meet to change shifts, but instead she would walk through the parking lot and go through the other entrance, making sure she wouldn’t see him. She left work early, before he could see her, and even went as far as to check through her windows if he was outside before stepping out of her house.

She was acting like a kid. She knew she was, and she was not stopping it, therefore adding more to the guilt. She was not good with apologizing, and there was no saying what would actually come out of her mouth once she would be face to face with Billy.

She was an utter piece of shit, was the natural conclusion to follow. And if she wanted to change that, she had to finally face that she was and apologize for it. 

So today, on her way to the Hawkins Pool, Penelope told herself she was acting ridiculous and that she was not one to shy away from confronting someone. Even though confronting Billy wasn’t the problem, but confronting her own mistake that she’d have to apologize for, in spite of the fact that she’d never apologized for anything in her life. She let the hours pass on her shift, watching the clock tick closer to the hour where she’d have to climb down from the lifeguard chair and come face to face with Billy. She was determined to put an end to this silly circling around guilt thing, but that didn’t make the waiting for it any easier.

Finally, the clock struck five and she climbed down from the chair, waiting to see Billy come through the door anytime now. Except she never did. She walked the distance from her spot to the doors through the main desk without running into him, and even when she took her spot down at the desk, he was nowhere to be seen.

Huh, she thought. That was odd. Maybe he hadn’t come into work at all.

But after ten minutes of sitting at her desk and wondering, Penelope got up and opened the door to the pool just slight enough to take a look through, and saw Billy right on the lifeguard chair with his usual sunglasses in his eyes and blowing through his whistle already at some poor kids.

So they weren’t over avoiding each other already. Not since he must have taken the back door to not run into her, just like she’d done until now. Penelope let out a frustrated sigh, feeling stupid all of a sudden. After all, why was she the only one considering an apology? He had things to apologize for, too, like calling her a spoiled brat with no real issues, and it was looking like he had no intention of doing so anytime soon. Why would she bother, if he didn’t want to meet her halfway? 

Yep, she declared officially, closing the door and going back to her desk. It was clear that apologizing wasn’t in any of their vocabularies. 

Penelope let the shift pass without thinking too much about it. She did her job, faking every smile as she handed towels and took bags, and hated every minute of it because of how close she was to being done with all of it. She spent the rest of days thinking everything over to the point of dreading her overthinking, and had enough time to realize that she could not be upset at Billy for avoiding her, when he had every right. But it was like she didn’t know what else to be except pissed lately. And she didn’t want to open that door and find out what exactly was so terribly wrong with her.

So, Penelope spent the five hours trying to occupy her mind as best as she could, and even offered to stay and close instead of Parker, her desk mate, just because she didn’t want to go home and do nothing again. She was not safe alone with her thoughts right now, so at least there was still her job she could put to use for tonight.

Penelope saw every single one of the kids with their parents leave and then half an hour later all of her colleagues too, making a mental note not to check for Billy’s whereabouts as she went to her locker room to put on her baggy red shirt over her swimsuit. She closed the main desk, after putting every single one of the dirty, used towels in the laundry bag and cleaning around, deciding to head straight for the pool next.

There was a certain calm to taking a closing shift that Penelope hadn’t known about but wish she had. Everything was quiet for a change and the summer heat was making room for that autumn coldness slowly creeping enough to briefly be felt in the air by a cold breeze. The lights were mostly out, except for the few white ones shining in the now empty parking lot, making the blue end of the large pool even darker. Penelope felt like she could breathe easier now as she walked towards the edges of the pool, looking up at the bright summer sky full of stars and with her hands wrapped around herself to keep away the cold. She wondered if she enjoyed all of this because it was quiet or because she was alone.

Almost on cue, as soon as that thought crossed her mind, Penelope heard the sound of moving water coming from the pool, and panic rose in her chest. There was someone else here. It was too dark to make out the face, but she could see it now, someone swimming in the pool breaking the entire silence of the night, and next to the edge of the pool there was a small bundle of clothes.

Penelope sighed, figuring this must have been some asshole who’d thought they would stay past closing without anyone noticing, and she walked at a faster pace, ready to give whoever was in the pool a piece of her mind. But as soon as she walked closer and noticed that the only clothes left on the edge of the pool were a Hawkins Pool employee shirt and a whistle, Penelope took a better look at who was swimming in the pool and froze. 

Billy Hargrove was swimming in the pool, floating on his back slowly and looking with a blank expression at the dark sky, either unaware Penelope was watching him or aware and not caring, and just like that, everything in Penelope’s head went from quite to loud. And it was that kind of loud only someone’s presence could bring, when everything from thoughts to feelings was a clutter of doubt that there was no untangling from. Penelope felt that. She felt like she did a full 180 from feeling calm and alone in the night to feeling scared, feeling guilty, feeling like even with all of that, Billy swimming in the pool with the moonlight shining down on him was still one of the prettiest things she’d seen in a while.

What the hell was she supposed to do here?

She felt the déjà vu hitting when she realized this was the same situation she’d been in a few nights ago just before the fight, when she wasn’t sure what would be worse, leaving or staying. She’d decided to stay then and come face to face with a broken Billy, only to realize she was looking at a slightly more cracked mirror of herself and decide she didn’t like it. What would staying here and watching him float in the dark water like that mean now, what other mess could it bring her into? But also how could she leave? What would that make her?

“Shouldn’t you be home?” Billy’s voice broke the loud silence all of a sudden, making Penelope startle. So he had known she was here, just like he’d probably known she was watching him like a creeper without saying a word.

Well, there was no leaving now. She was doing this.

“Shouldn’t you not be in the pool after closing?” Penelope retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. Billy didn’t reply to that for a few seconds or look at her, so when the silence got heavier again, Penelope sighed and answered his question. “I felt like staying up tonight.”

Billy kept floating, feet dangling slightly in the water and his arms swinging by his side. “I felt like going for a swim,” he answered too, eventually. 

And there were so many reasons why Penelope felt like she couldn’t do this. Everything felt so bitter, every breath between words and every minute of their silence, like everything gone wrong was hanging in the air wanting to come to the surface but hitting a wall every time. And for the first time, Penelope felt like this was more than just a game. This was more than flirty and snarky conversations, more than sexually charged moments, more than shouted fights about jealousy. They’d overstepped that fine line between game and reality just a few nights ago, when they’d both scratched the other’s already bleeding wounds, when they’d walked into the unknown territory of having yourself and your deepest issues exposed to someone else, only to watch all of that being used against you. It hit Penelope hard how she’d never meant for any of this to be anything but a game, only to realize she’d ended up in the aftermath of her own mess, unwilling to claim her blame in it. How did one recover from that?

It crossed Penelope’s mind that maybe she’d started off the right foot that night when she’d approached Billy by trying to lighten the awkward silence, it had been everything afterwards that had been wrong. Maybe she could do the same now and hope it wouldn’t turn against her.

~Soundtrack: Billie Eillish – Ocean Eyes~

So, she took a few steps forward, coming closer to where he was and stood at the edge of the pool watching him.

“I thought you knew better than to get in the pool after those kids were there the whole day,” she said, deciding to damn every ounce of overthinking in her body and just push everything in denial by going back to her old teasing self.

And if that was a bad idea, Billy didn’t let her know because he answered in the same tone as her. “I figured all the piss must be gone by now.”

She let out a sudden snort, wrinkling her nose at his words. “You didn’t have to paint a picture.”

She finally sat down on the edge, crossing her legs and taking her eyes off of him for the first time since she spotted him. She leaned back on her hands and turned her face upwards, closing her eyes as the cold breeze danced on her skin and hair.

“I never saw you take a closing shift before,” Billy spoke again, and Penelope didn’t move or open her eyes as she replied.

“For good reason. I don’t wanna be the one to clean the cock snot from the showers.”

In the silence, Billy’s laugh rang for the first time. His voice sounded closer to her this time. “You didn’t have to paint a picture either.”

Penelope opened her eyes and let her feet dangle free into the swimming pool. “Sure I did.”

The only sound that came after that was the sound of the pool water moving as Billy kept floating on his back and Penelope moved her feet. The water felt cold on her toes and mixed with the light breeze in the air, it sent a shiver though her body. So this was the moment she’d been dreaded for the last couple of days, she thought. It all seemed so harmless, how they sat in the empty Hawkins Pool at night, making jokes and sharing the silence after them, like nothing had happened. Like they hadn’t been avoiding each other. Like she hadn’t felt miserable for the past couple of days. Like they weren’t a few wrong moves away from exploding.

“So why did you take the closing shift then?” Billy said all of a sudden, coming to float closer and closer to her. 

For a second before she answered, Penelope wondered what had he been feeling for the past couple of days. He didn’t sound pissed at her, as much as he had the right to, he sounded like he was hiding behind normal conversations like her too. 

Even though he couldn’t see her, Penelope shrugged, going for the only half truth she could give. “I told you, I felt like staying up.” 

Billy let out a small huff. “Parties don’t just do it for you anymore, huh?”

Penelope’s first instinct was to let a smile form on her lips at that. Parties really didn’t work for her anymore, just like nothing seemed to lately when everything felt like a cage and when her key out of it was inches away. But then her smile died on her lips at the thought of the last party she’d gone to, the one from days ago when she’d run into Billy. Only to watch him kiss another girl, while she was dancing against another guy. The party where he’d kissed her and she’d let him, and then run away at how different it had all felt. It was funny. With everything that had happened, with their fight about their parents, Penelope had completely forgotten about that. She told herself it felt insignificant compared to everything else that was going on, but the repressed thought of that party brought too many confusing things she wanted to keep pushing down. 

Penelope realized seconds or maybe minutes passed without her talking, and so let out the first thing that crossed her mind, “Look at us. Talking like normal, mature adults.”

Billy’s answer came right away, like he’d been itching for her to as much as mention the absurdity of the situation. “Yeah, who would’ve thought you can take a break from all that avoiding you’ve been doing.”

Penelope’s mouth opened slightly in indignation. “You’re one to talk, considering you figured you’d rather take the back door than see me today.”

Billy finally reached Penelope and rested his elbows on the edge next to her right, facing her and just looking at her for a few seconds. God, Penelope forgot at times how excruciating beautiful he could be, especially now in this dark blue lightning and with his normally curly hair wet clinging to his shoulders. There were few droplets of water on his annoyingly perfect chest, on his cheeks, on his pink lips. Penelope wished she could just reach over with her hand and –

She blinked once and looked away, catching herself mid-thought. What was wrong with her?

“I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t want to see you, Lopes,” Billy’s now soft voice said, making Penelope look back at him again.

Lopes. Funny how that nickname had annoyed her most of the time, and now she felt relieved to hear it. He was saying it like they were back to square one, back to him calling her that and back to when they didn’t yell spiteful things at each other.

All of a sudden, Billy extended his hand at her. “Come on, get in.”

“What?” 

“Get in the pool, come for a swim.”

Penelope let out a sarcastic laugh.“In the piss water? No thanks.”

But Billy didn’t drop his hand. “Come on, I didn’t even ask for skinny dipping,” he said, giving her that trademark smirk she almost caught herself thinking she’d missed. “I’ll let you keep your clothes on.”

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t manage to stop the smile from forming on her lips. “So generous.”

“Unless…” he trailed off.

“Cut your losses, Hargrove,” she said, standing up. 

She didn’t really think it over as she reached for the hem of her oversized shirt and pulled it over her head, throwing it on the ground next to Billy’s shirt. She didn’t want to think anything over right now, when the night was quiet enough to keep her secrets. She leaned down and took Billy’s hand, who didn’t hesitate in pulling her into the water.   
The initial cold hit fast and faded just as quickly once Penelope realized she had to adjust all of her body at once, so she plunged head first into the water, swimming under it for a while and coming back up. 

“It’s actually not bad,” she said once she caught her breath, feeling the cold fading. 

“Give me your hands,” Billy said and Penelope complied without wavering. He dragged her backwards into the deepest end of the pool, the centre, spinning around as they did so. “It gets colder at night,” Billy continued, without looking at her. “And most of the lights go out, everything is quiet and not full of people running around all day. It’s just you and the water. Reminds me of home.”

And he was right. If Penelope thought that just walking around after closing felt nice, swimming like this and feeling her skin being ignited by the cold water as their moving in circles created small waves made Penelope reach the nice kind of calm she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, enjoying everything from the sounds of the night to the feel of Billy’s hands in hers, and opened them when she realized they’d stopped their circling.

And Billy was not looking at her. He was looking up at the starry night, unaware of how his face shone in this glow of the swimming pool lights, and Penelope’s breath caught in her throat again. It was not fair. It was not fair that out of all the people, she’d had to run into him at closing, no fair how he’d made her forget for a split second everything that had happened, and no fair that he looked like a freaking masterpiece before her eyes right now. And it was not fair how all of this guilt made her unable to think of anything else, clouding her thoughts of any left saneness apparently. The cold must have frozen her brain.

She had to stop with the guilt, she decided. She had to get it out.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” Penelope blurted out before she could change her mind, making Billy’s eyes snap back to her. Well, there was no turning back now. “I shouldn’t have.”

Billy looked at her for what seemed like forever, before swallowing once and breaking the short silence, saying in an almost too quiet voice, “I’m an expert in things I shouldn’t do, too.”

“I –“

“I know what you want to say, Lopes,” Billy interrupted her, the movement of the water bringing him slightly closer to her. “I don’t know how to start apologizing either.”

In spite of herself, a small smile lifted the corners of her lips. “That sounds like a good start.”

Frankly, it was a better start then hers. And it felt ridiculous now, looking at how they were both struggling to get those apologies out when they had been going above and beyond to postpone them, either because of pride or shame. She was sure he couldn’t tell which one it was just like she couldn’t.

“I’m sorry for blowing up in your face like that,” Billy said. And had it been in a different situation, Penelope would have laughed at how serious and sincere he sounded, so unlike himself. “I’m an asshole who wasn’t thinking, I just felt angry and you were there and –“

It was Penelope’s turn to interrupt him. “You don’t have to go through with the speech, Billy. We obviously both suck at saying sorry.”

Another small wave brought their bodies closer together, and Penelope steadied herself by putting her hands on his chest almost involuntarily, like touching him while they were so close was becoming a costume. She decided not to think about that either tonight. 

But it was just striking her how similar they were, her and Billy. She’d spent so much of her time thinking they had nothing in common, that he was the high school douche just moved from California, who thought he could out-game her, while she was the rebel without a cause of Hawkins High who played with people just to prove things. And overnight it had gotten so much bigger than that, all because of a night who’d made them both realize how fucked over they were by their own issues, how deep in denial while also telling themselves no one could have it worse than them. And it was such an awful thing to be proved wrong. But now here they were, both of them owning up to it. Both of them willing to understand the other. Penelope wondered why that felt like an own sort of calmness in itself.

“I didn’t know about your parents,” Billy went on in spite of her previous words. “If I did I wouldn’t have said all that bullshit.”

“What I hate is that I knew about yours,” Penelope confessed, feeling that guilt surface again. “I knew and I still said what I said. I shouldn’t have –“

“I know,” Billy reached for her face and tucked a loose strand of wet hair behind her ear, looking like he’d done that just as involuntarily as she’d touched him too.

And just like that, she felt the shift in the air that happened as fast as a flick of a switch. She felt that mutual understanding and previous guilt put aside, only to leave room for the next thing they’d been avoiding. She remembered all of a sudden the last thing he’d said to her in that fight, of how it was clear nothing had ever worked out between them when they weren’t fucking.

A spiteful remark said just to get back at her, she told herself. But back then, she’d told him otherwise.

Yeah, clearly. 

Had that also been a spiteful remark?

But God, how she didn’t want to think about that now, not when he was so close. His hand had dropped from her face, coming underwater and resting on her waist, just as she was still steadying herself on his body. How had they gotten so close? And why was he looking at her like that?

“I didn’t mean anything I said, Penelope,” Billy spoke all of a sudden, almost like reading her mind. He hadn’t meant anything. Had she? 

“None of it?” she asked instead, not caring how her voice sounded so vulnerable right then, how fragile the moment felt too.

His eyes shone with something Penelope didn’t recognize, and for the second time tonight, her breath caught again in her throat. They were so unbelievably blue. His eyes were the same shade as everything around them, like the blue of the swimming pool, the blue of the lights around them, yet they felt brighter too. Wilder. Penelope couldn’t guess the last time she’d felt so trapped in such a shade of blue, if she had ever. Like she was on the highest cliff there was, ready to jump in the ocean of his eyes. 

Billy’s breath tickled her cheek as he answered. “Not a thing.”

Penelope didn’t know when her hands had ended up rested on his shoulders and then entangled behind his neck, or when their faces had gotten so close that their noses were touching. All she knew was that she didn’t feel like turning back, she didn’t feel like running. Every time, with every moment of thinking she had before kissing him, she’d felt different things. With their first kiss, she’d felt like diving into whatever it was, like it was reckless and wild but so was she. With their second, the one that had lasted the entire night, she’d felt excited, engulfed, like everything was hers to explore. Before he’d kissed her at the party, she’d felt like she was being hypnotized, drawn in by something she was not yet ready to explain.

Now? Now she was thinking and seeing everything so clear. She didn’t feel reckless or spell bound or anything irrational like that. She felt like she wanted to kiss Billy Hargrove. She felt like she wanted to jump off that cliff. She felt like everything seemed calm and clear for a change, and whether it had been the water or their own minds bringing their bodies closer, she didn’t care anymore.

His ocean eyes were the last thing Penelope saw as their lips barely brushed against each other before leaning more into the kiss. She could taste the water on his lips now, feel the usual saltiness of his mouth, feel how much she’d missed it too. Both of their hands knew exactly what to do, how to draw each other closer so they did, and the way Penelope’s hands tangled slowly in his wet curly hair felt like familiarity, like picking up an old forgotten habit just to find out you were not out of practice. And it was so slow and certain, so empty of any resentment and so unlike any mess her and Billy Hargrove had made until now. She felt in control this time.

So, when breath ran out of them both, they broke the kiss. And when Penelope looked at him again, Billy’s ocean eyes were the first thing she saw. 

***

~Soundtrack: Taylor Swift – Cornelia Street~

The next morning, Billy woke up at the usual hour. The sun barely shone through his thick curtains, a few rays managing to slip through the cracks and get in his eyes, almost as if they were telling him it was 8 and he was supposed to get ready for work. His alarm rang in the same annoying way it did every morning, and with a slam of his fist on the buttons, Billy grunted and got up.

He went to the bathroom, running a hand through his messy hair as he looked in the mirror. His eyes looked tired, granted since he hadn’t slept that much last night, and there were still sleep lines on his face. He washed it, not before brushing his teeth, and dressed in the usual pool clothes. 

He put a pair of jeans over his red swimming shorts and a simple white shirt over the whistle on his chest, and then moved on to his hair, which was always the reason he woke up this early. It took him about half an hour to get it right, to put every curl in place and use his hair spray to make sure it stayed there, and then look at himself for five more minutes after it was done to admire it. It was routine by this point. 

He gave his reflection a wink after he was done and climbed downstairs, going in the kitchen. His dad wasn’t there thankfully enough, but apparently the morning decided not to be too kind to him because Susan and Max were at the table having breakfast. Billy opened the fridge, ignoring Susan’s cheerful “good morning”, and grabbed an apple from the fruit container. 

“You sure you don’t wanna eat breakfast with us, Billy?” Susan asked, and it took everything out of him not to roll his eyes. “I made pancakes.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“What are you so chipper about?” Max asked all of a sudden, looking at him while munching on a piece of pancake. 

Billy gave her a pointed stare. “The hell do you mean? I’m not chipper.”

But the only response Max gave was a suspicious squint of her big green eyes, making Billy sigh and reach for his pack of cigarettes already. He grabbed one and put it behind his ear for later, not bothering to say anything else as he took his car keys from the kitchen counter and heading out the door.

It was another sunny day, Billy noticed. It was a day like most days actually, when the cold from last night was still hanging in the air while the sunshine was slowly making way, and the birds chirped like they normally did every morning, too. None of it was annoying him today though. Funny actually, nothing seemed to annoy him today, not the sun waking him up, not Susan and her annoying pancakes or Max and her annoying remarks, not even the birds singing like that. Usually, everything did. 

He paused on the front porch and took a deep breath. It all smelled fresh. 

And then, Billy did his next bit of routine left and looked to his left at Penelope’s house. He did it so often that it felt like just a natural turn of his head by now. Except this morning was different. This morning, he turned half knowing and half hoping he’d find her there. 

And she was. On the front porch of her house stood Penelope, with a cigarette between her fingers and looking in the distance at the horizon. And it just made everything in his body stop dead in its tracks. Because Jesus, was she beautiful. The sun lit her face and her hair dangled freely over her shoulders, turning a light shade of brown under the rays of sunshine. And for some reason, it made him remember the first time he’d seen her on this street, on the first day he’d met her and minutes after she’d made a fool out of him in that parking lot. She’d stood on that same porch, and mockingly finger gun shot him. And now it felt like he’d been dead ever since then. 

Almost as if she sensed him, Penelope’s head turned to look at him, her blue eyes boring into his from across. And memories from last night flooded Billy like a California wave. How scared he’d felt to see her there, after all that avoiding, how natural it had felt to talk to her again, how on fire he’d been to have her body under his touch underwater. And then scared again as they’d kissed. Scared and then calm all of a sudden. Like Penelope Skye didn’t feel like a hurricane anymore, or a rollercoaster. 

Seeing her now made him feel the same. Scared and then calm. Frankly, he didn’t know what any of this meant, but this time, he was willing to find out. So, Billy let a smile form on his lips as he looked at her. And to his complete surprise, Penelope smiled back.

And it all felt like a fresh start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys. So this is it, the ending. :(((( I honestly loved this fanfic so much I can't believe I just finished it.   
First things first, I hope you liked it!!! Not just the ending, but everything, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, good or bad as they may. As for the ending, I kind of wanted to leave it to up to interpretation, that's why it might seem a bit unclear. Maybe they get together, and it all works out. Maybe they get together and realize it's a horrible mistake and Penelope goes to Chicago and Billy to California. Maybe they have gorgeous Californian babies together. Who knows? It's all up to you, however you feel like it should end. All in all though, I hope you enjoyed it.  
And now, I have a bit of a surprise for you. My sister made an amazing video with the two that i wanna share with you!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csgdsu_e7XU&t=1s Heres the link!!! I hope you're going to fangirl over it as much as I did.  
Anyway. I guess i gotta leave you now. If any of you want to read some of my other writing, I have a quotev (https://www.quotev.com/28138443) and a tumblr "poetry" page (writinghurricanes.tumblr.com). Just putting it out there.  
Again, let me know what you think of this fanfic, and thank you so much for reading and sticking with it!!! You rock


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